Friday, September 30, 2011

Are you ready for True Grub?

Are you ready for this?

I'm an excited kind of gal myself. I don't recall a holiday that involved food or gifts where I didn't whine so bad that my parents caved and gave me a little treat before the big day. So that's what Momma Jen has for you: a little pre-MOFO celebration of sorts.

As you know this year's theme is True Grub: I Wanna Chew Good Things With You. I'm hopelessly in love with the premium cable show True Blood, adore Alan Ball, and am plowing my way through the actual books by Charlaine Harris. What's this show, you say? It's another television drama with vampires, except the cast is way hotter and there's tons of sex. And vampires. Did I mention there were vampires?

There's an entire thread dedicated to the show in the Living Room of The Post Punk Kitchen. Isa mentioned that someone should do a True Blood Blog. I took the muse and ran like Sam Merlotte himself when he's doing his post-shape shifter streaking thing.

Pray tell, what signature dish will don Miss Sookie's name? Did I get ballsy enough to make a Hunter's Pie? I dunno, but I did make a vegan goat tongue and giggled the whole time I made Alcide's Comeback Sauce.

And what noshling shall be named after King of the Bill? I don't want to give everything away, so you're going to have to tune in EVERY SINGLE DAY in OCTOBER for Vegan Mofo. Tell your friends about it too, so you can help me meet my 1 MILLION HIT GOAL by the end of the month. I'm giving the FoodBuzz money to two local charities.

And now, I'll leave you with a recipe I made about a month ago:

Lafayette's Red Velvet Brownie Bites

1/2 c EB OR 5 T of canola oil-(NOTE-I don't always have EB around the house. If you go this route, note they'll be a bit crunchier on the outside, but very soft n' chewy on the inside.)

1 1/2 c. beet sugar
1 t vanilla
2T flax seed meal+ 6T warm water, set aside
1 1/4 AP flour
1/4 t. salt
3T cocoa powder. The better the powder, the better the bite.
1 1/2 T red food coloring
1/2 c. melted chocolate chips

First things first, get some nice music going and put those chips on a double boiler. Take the vanilla, sugar, flax seed eggs, oil and mix. Mix in the food coloring. It will look very creepy.

Take your dry ingredients: flour, salt, and cocoa and sift. There's nothing worse than biting into something with cocoa lumps in it. Sift it! I'm watching you.

Preheat the oven for three fiddy, and get a mini cupcake pan out lined with papers. Mix the wet with the dry. Now add that melted chocolate. It will be super thick. Spray a measured tablespoon with canola oil and put measured T scoops in each mini muffin liner. Don't over fill! Set the timer for 10 minutes and check on them with a tooth pick. Set the timer for an additional 3-4 minutes, or until the toothpick comes out clean. Dollop the top with your favorite cream cheese icing. NOTE-don't freak out if they're a little hard on the outside, they're nice chewy, n' fudgy on the inside.

I have not tried this, but I double dog dare you to make the brownie bites Brujo Brownie Bites in honor of Lafayette's boyfriend, Jesus. To do this add 1/2 t cinnamon, 1/4 t cayenne pepper, and a pinch of clove powder. I know I'm doing this next time. I'm also going to play around and see if I can go old school and make red velvet without red food coloring.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Look, it's spaghetti.

Ah, one of the cheapest meals to make no matter if your omni or vegan--spaghetti. Kind of unexciting, I know. Until I smell the garlic, onions, and peppers sauteing in the olive oil, and then I just start to feel classy. I add the tomato sauce and paste***magic wand flourish*** it's a nice filling dish, especially when paired with a green veggie.

Aside from my use of smart ground and spaghetti noodles, the sauce was made from scratch. Tomatoes from my garden were cooked down into paste and sauce. Basil-(garden), garlic, onions, peppers-(garden) joined the free-for-all in my stock pot. Yes it took some time, but there was some satisfaction in eating something I made from stuff I grew all by mahself.

I normally don't use commercial vegan crumbles. When they're on sale, I do use them just because it's easy and I have lazy tendencies like everyone else. The crumbles could have easily been subbed with some cooked white beans or lentils, or better yet-- plain veggies are awesome. No shame in simplicity.

The Parmesan? It's super simple, really. No, really--you don't have to spend $7 on a friggin' container of sprinkle cheese substitute. Eat something real! I use 1/3 c. nutritional yeast, 1/2 t. garlic powder, 1/4 c oat flour, 1/2 t. salt, and some oregano. Mix it together and you have vegan parm. Store that in a tupperware container and use it for other stuff. That makes pesto siiiiiing.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Vegan S'mores, Texas style

This bright idea was brought to you by Molly Jade of The Lone Star Plate. She's so smart. S'mores made with Biscoff cookies. Screw those store bought graham crackers made with honey, you want to do your sugar buzz right. So get your favorite chocolate chips, a couple of Dandies vegan marshmallows, and two Biscoff cookies. Wrap that party in some foil and stick in the toaster oven for a few minutes. Gooey gooey goodness. I ate the finished product before I realized I had forgotten to take a photo.

MOFO countdown. I'm ready. Just had the Jason Stackhouse Po'Boy tonight, and it was the stuff of legends.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Pittsburgh Steak Sandwich

I figured it was a few days since I talked about Celine and Tami's sandwich cookbook. You'd think we were all dating, but we're all married--boo. T & C sure are dreamy, though. ((swoon))

This here is called the Pittsburgh Steak Sandwich and while it looks like a big ol' burger with some guac, it is not. It is a ginormous mouthful of marinated seitanic goodness on a cibatta roll with traditional burger toppings. Just look at that seitan. Have you ever seen anything so pretty? Ring-ring, who is it? It's Elsie the Cow thanking you profusely for saving her life.

I suggested this be named the Allegheny County Belly Buster, because you really need to learn your PA counties, and this sandwich does stress the stomach a little, so you can eat this sandwich alone and be just fine. No fries needed.

MOFO is just days away--can you feel the excitement in the air? Get the word out about my million hit goal! I've created a tab for it at the top of the page. Thanks for being the best followers in the world.

Friday, September 23, 2011

After all, it's what is on the inside that counts.

Regular ol' chocolate cake with some ganache, right? WRONG! Gluten free, delicious, moist, and...
full of yummy vanilla filling. I couldn't wait for it to cool. I ate it immediately. A friend of mine told me these were so good she almost creamed herself.

For the record, I don't have a gluten intolerance or anything, I just like to try my hand at GF baking because many of my peeps live GF and I wanna show off for them. These noshables were spectacular. Imagine a warm oreo fresh out of the oven that melts in your mouth and spikes ye olde blood sugar. Uh-huh.

Food Blogger Friday, I haven't forgotten about this! The blog is where I snagged the recipe for those cupcakes, but you've heard about that blog, haven't you? I thought so. You're cool like that. Well, kids--how about these?

Vegan Explosion
- How can one ignore a blog with a title like that? I came across this one looking for a vegan tortilla recipe. Since I don't have a tortilla press, mine looked more like chapatis, but they were mega-Streisand awesome.

Happy. Healthy. Life- More food photography to covet. She's smart. Lots of DIY stuff. Rad.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Desperate Nachos

Quick! I need nachos, like yesterday. This photo is awful by food porn standards, and most of my food photography is pretty lame, and I'll own it like Mike Tyson owns a tiger in The Hangover. No need to tease me.

A few weeks ago I couldn't stop thinking about nachos, but there weren't any chips in the house--just some chip shrapnel in a bag bordering on stale. I made them and ate them anyway. I call this meal Desperate Nachos. I put everything I possibly could on the pile of tortilla chip dust: daiya, leftover chili, avocado slices, and some of my signature ass of fire salsa. As I was scarfing it all down, I was reminded about one of my favorite literary pieces, Nachos from the Edge by Laurie Weeks. She recalls the time she made nachos from a postcard when there wasn't anything else to eat in her house but a block of cheese. Good times!

I'm so sad salsa season is about over, btw. I'm gonna live on the edge and attempt to take a cutting from one of my cherry tomato plants and keep it alive during the winter.

Tell me about your favorite Desperate Meal.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I'm not always testing sandwiches...

Sometimes I'm just making them for me. This was part of last week's haul from the food bank: roasted garlic bread with ingredients I recognized, West Soy Thai Peanut Tofu, sauteed red peppers and onions served with a side of oven baked snap beans-(my new favorite way of eating them!)

I didn't get a close up of the beans largely because I was bummed that the purple ones didn't keep their color and ended up looking like the green ones. As I ate them I'm pretty sure Joe Dirt popped out of the bushes and said, "Daaaaang!" because they were so darned tasty. Since that brand of prepared tofu isn't really peanutty-(barely detectable), I made a schmear with a little extra peanut butter, garlic, and mae ploi chile sauce.

To make the oven baked snap beans is, well--um, er it's a snap!

preheat oven to 400

Wash and snap ends off beans.
Juice of 1/2 lemon, 2T olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.
Rub lemon juice, oil, and seasonings into beans and spread evenly on a cookie sheet-(spray!) cook for 7-8 minutes on one side, flip, and cook for another 5-7 minutes. These are great on their own, but if you have to have a condiment to dip them in go ahead.

9 more days until MOFO! Are you ready?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Pecan pie for breakfast? You betcha.

This photo was taken with my spouse's Galaxy Tablet. I haven't mastered taking pictures with it, so I don't use it often. That's not a chocolate waffle sandwich, it is a Pecan Pie Wafflewich, yet another mad tasty creation from the mind of Celine and Tami. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge: have I told you about their upcoming vegan sandwich cookbook? Did you know I was one of their testers? Guffaw.

I used to date a couple of people that hail from the South. Of course I didn't date them at the same time, but they were both really awesome people and have fond memories of both. One of these was picking pecans off the front lawn. I knew nuts came from trees, but I had grown up with purchasing them at the store. Seeing pecans in their raw form in a shell hangin' out in trees and partying on the ground seemed so surreal!

I'd be lying if I said I had never eaten pie for breakfast. I believe I've eaten all desserts as a meal replacement at any given time of the day, not the best practice in the world, but there it is. This gem is probably meant for breakfast, but I imagine you would find it fueling for lunch, second lunch, dinner, or a late night snack. The waffle is crunchy with some subtle maple flavor and the inside is what will turn your eyeballs into a slot machine--the gooey, sweet, and buttery pecans are so decadent you'll forget all about your rote daily responsibilities. Say, don't you work in a cubicle? Isn't that Jimmy with the latest dirt at the water cooler? Who the hell cares, you just had a wafflewich for breakfast! Armageddon could be happening and it really wouldn't matter.

Speaking of things that do matter, I'm in the throes of rustling recipes for Vegan MOFO which is just 10 days away! If you love True Blood, Louisianna cookin', and want to see what a veganized goat tongue looks like, then you should stop on by this blog every single day in October, preferably multiple times. You should tell your friends too, because I want to reach one million US hits during MOFO and donate my FoodBuzz checks to two local charities: Mother Hubbard's Cupboard and the Monroe County Humane Association. I receive $3 for every thousand visits, so one million would mean three thousand dollars. We can do that, right?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Holiday World: yep, they are vegan friendly!

Most of the time the myth that veganism is a pain in the ass is incorrect. If there's a grocery store in your area, then you can easily assemble vegan food to eat. What about those wacky situations like visiting an amusement park that doesn't allow outside food into the park? Don't worry, you don't have to eat air and drink your tears of misery or sneak contraband into the park while Judas Priest is blaring in your brain. Holiday World in Santa Claus, IN has vegan options. Huzzah!

Take note:

Ian's Soy Cheezy French Bread Pizza Ian's Mac & NO Cheese
Enjoy Life Soft Double Chocolate Brownie Bites
Isabella's Best Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
Silk Vanilla and Chocolate individual soy milks
Tofutti Marry Me and Totally Fudge ice cream bars

All you have to do is ask to see the allergen free menu. There is a ridiculous wait time for cooked food; however, I have hopefully taken care of this by writing the food management staff to let them know about the issue during my recent visit. I also let them know I was super happy about the items on the menu. Many are gluten free too, so fear not my XXgfXX pals! If you want to write them to tell them how awesome they are for providing vegan options, you can write them at I've informed them that vegans are a pretty loyal customer base. It would be pretty rad if they heard from a whole gaggle of us, dontcha think?

Holiday World is one of the Midwest's best kept amusement park secrets, and I'm not sure why more people don't know about this place. I never even knew about it until I moved here eleven years ago. Santa Claus, IN? Whuuut? Imagine if Ned Flanders opened up a theme park and toned down the proselytizing. Since it is dedicated to US Holidays, you will see and hear some Christ themed X-Mas music and a little bit of GO USA flavor, but it is hardly detectable because you'll be distracted by having an awesome time. It is SUPER clean, mostly smoke free-(they have smoking sections in various parts of the park outdoors), and the best bargain for your money. Seriously, the admission price gets you rides and admission into the water park which is absolutely phenomenal. My favorite part is The Voyage roller coaster which is an over 3 minute thrill ride that will easily take a few years off your life. This is pretty long by ride standards! You get free sunscreen-(not sure of the veganness) and unlimited soft drinks and water all day long. Crazy!

Their season is almost over, but I encourage you to make plans for next year. The best times to go is in May or September when it is slower.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Foodblogger Fridays

BBQ Bean and Nut Burger from Celine and Tami's upcoming cookbook. It looks plain, but the flavor will blow your mind!
When hanging with Kohlrabi and Quince author Kelly at Vida Vegan Con, I told her that I was already overwhelmed with the number of food bloggers as it is, and seeing all of the vegan food bloggers in PDX-- I felt a little crazy. Michele Bachmann kind of kazooey.

You all know I'm a little smarter than her, right?

Anyway, my solution is to make a couple of plugs for some unknown vegan blogs on teh interwebz so you all can see what other vegans are up to on a day to day basis. I can't promise you that they'll be as awesome as me-(actually some of them are so cool, they're ice cold), but they are vegan!

The two I want to plug today are Vegan Yack Attack and Picky Vegan. VYA has gorgeous food photography and takes advantage of her gift of gab. Picky Vegan Jodie is a health care practitioner and vegan with picky tastes in food. Her recipes are free of mushrooms, whole tomatoes, or seaweed flavors. This is a really awesome blog concept, because as a vegan I'm never really thinking about other vegans-(gasp!) when it comes to cooking for them. I assume everyone will like what I fix and often forget that there are some people who aren't fans of garlic n' onions.

Now about that burger at the top of the page. I wouldn't be in recent PITA Vegan form if I didn't plug Tami and Celine's upcoming sandwich cookbook. I really need to get a job in Vegan Cookbook PR. Anyway, that modest looking sammie is the BBQ Bean Nut Burger and it is out of this world. Perfectly seasoned. It's a cinch to make--you'll have dinner in less than 30 minutes. The burgers also freeze well.

Which brings me to a point: I love making my own veggie burgers, out of just about anything. On the PPK a fellow forum foodie asked about making veggie burgers out of leftover bean soup. This is so easy! Please take note:

Drain your bean soup, freeze the stock for future soups, stews, stock for seitan, and a base for gravy. Take the leftover beans and veggies, run them through a food processor with your own preferred seasonings, some bread crumbs or crackers and make patties.You want the mixture to be moist but not sticky and not crumbly. Press the patties in a seasoned crumb mixture of rice krispies or corn flakes mixed with some seasoning salt and bake at 350 for 7-10 on each side or pan fry. Boom!

I'm still getting my stuff together for Vegan MOFO, which is a couple weeks away! I've sent press releases to every local press available and have even dropped a note to THE ultimate True Blood fan website! Seriously, it's impressive and I could just kick myself for not finding it sooner. Wouldn't that be bad ass to have TB fans exposed to yours truly? Ack!

You can help me reach my million MOFO hit goal by getting the word out as well. Every bit helps!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Harvest time!

First haul: a handful of container carrots and some tomatoes with BER.
I thought it was high time to chew the fat about gardens. I'm a gardening nut. I'm surprised I don't have a gardening blog. I'm going to submit a proposal to have a gardening panel for the 2013 Vida Vegan Con with hopes of spreading the gardening gospel. I also was connected with a fellow vegan and gardening geek Snarky Vegan.

I want this to inspire you to do some of your own gardening. There is no better way to stick it to the man than to grow your own food. You're reducing your footprint, you know how it is being grown, and you're not abusing labor laws producing it. If you have any questions about gardening, visit The Greenhouse section at the Post Punk Kitchen, or you can always e-mail me since I work in the industry.

What keeps you from growing your own food? Have you considered starting small and working up? Try herbs and lettuces. They are the easiest to grow.

I had serious doubts about my garden this Summer. I put most of it in containers because my spidey sense told me we would sell the house. I was right! My co-workers helped me move it over to my friend Victoria's house, and it took a couple of trips. I had quite a bit left in the ground at the old house. The buyer said he didn't like vegetables. Whuuuut? He told me I could harvest them and I donated about eight pounds of greens to the food pantry.

Would the plants make it? It was a crazy hot Summer and I had to fight with some blossom end rot, but I think I did okay:
I honestly have no idea why this photo is defying gravity. It looks normal in my photo folder. Chard, kale, peppers, and lots of tomatoes. The Superbush variety is hands down the best for container gardening. (((giggling at my self))) I typed "Superbush." I'm such a 14 year old boy.

My favorite this year has been the speckled Roma. Huge fruit. HUGE! From the tip of my middle finger to near my wrist. These were great for roasting, making paste, and oven drying.

Third haul: look at those speckled Romas! Some of them had really funky shapes. Note the hotdog roma way on top and the paisley shaped one on the lower right.
Most recent haul: a couple more speckled Romas, a Brandywine, and a couple of peppers. This was used to make chili.

I believe I have a couple more harvests left. I've already planted my fall garden of beets, onions, greens, and carrots in containers at the new house. I plan on planting some garlic bulbs in the next week or so for a Spring harvest.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Oreo going to eat that sandwich?

O.S.I.M. gonna eat that sandwich! Here's another creation from Celine and Tami's upcoming sandwich cookbook. I finished making this at night, so I had to use a flash. I really, really need help with my food photography. I know much of this can be remedied with a nicer camera. Oh seasoned bloggers, what do you do?

The answer to most of my questions is to eat. This sammie was so huge, I had no qualms about splitting it with a friend over a cup of coffee and good conversation. This is called the Oreo Wafflewich. Do I really need to describe this for you to want to eat a chocolate devil food waffle sandwich with vanilla icing? I didn't think so. I see you drooling.

So I've decided I'm not going to be a big tease and let y'all know about my Vegan MOFO plans. I figure it will help traffic so I can reach my 1 million hit goal during MOFO.

Since MOFO is during October, one would naturally assume that having a month long theme about spooky food would be a good idea. How about a month long theme dedicated to one of the best vampire dramas on premium television? That's right kids, you're going to get some TRUE GRUB. I was inspired by Isa and our mutual fascination of True Blood. I have been toiling over this for a few months now, making huge messes in the kitchen, and will be blogging about some very traditional Louisiana cuisine and gory food that has been veganized to the max. Are you excited? I am.

Go tell as many people as you can that you know a chick who can veganize a pork rind casserole.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


A-ha, gotcha! You thought it was going to be some sort of rant about genetically modified food, right? Wrong. There's another kind of Frankenfood in my world: a combination of a couple recipes and some extra PITA vegan flair to make it come ALIVE...ALIVE! Don't get me wrong, all individual components of this delicious monster are fine on their own; however, when working together as a team they are scary AMAZING. I'm talking about "Puttin on the Ritz" kind of awesome.

Several posts ago, I wrote about having an in-home bake sale to absorb incidental expenses at Vida Vegan Con. It was a great time and I plan on doing it again around the holidays. I'm thinking I might like to donate the money to a charity.

The belle of the ball was the banana split muffins. I pulled this off by taking the lower fat banana muffin recipe from Veganomicon. After they were done baking and had cooled for 15 minutes, I took a clean thumb and poked holes in the middle.

From there I filled each hole with a strawberry pineapple topping made of fresh strawberries, fresh pineapple, corn starch, and agave nectar. I kept stirring it on med. heat until it looked like pie filling.

Once the filled muffins cooled completely, I filled a sandwich bag with the chocolate frosting recipe from Ricki's whoopie pies on I'm so in love with that frosting. I would never think to use sweet potatoes as a base for frosting! I lovingly placed dollops of the frosting on each muffin, and crowned them with two walnut pieces and a fresh cherry. Yay!

The best part was no one flavor dominated the other. It was a perfect medley of banana, chocolate, and tart strawberry/pineapple/cherry. This muffin was a fine tuned engine. I don't know for sure, but I'm willing to bet it is a little better for you than a fried doughnut.

There's no "I" in team!

Do you like the new look of PITA Vegan? Great. That's your next hint for my Vegan MOFO theme. Just to clarify, there aren't any votes for my one million hit goal. You just need to tell people to tell people to shout it from the roof tops to visit my site every day in October. Multiple times, even if you think my food is gross-which it so ain't.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Navajo Tacos

In the Spring of 1998, I spent a month long term studying Native American poetry in New Mexico. A group of 30 students, the Provost, and a few professors spent two days in Santa Fe then spent the rest of our time in Taos. I loved every minute of it, but found it so sacred that I knew I couldn't live there.

We went to the reservation a couple of times and I remember trying fry bread. It's fried! I know, I'm easily amused. There was something magical about that bread though, perhaps the energy of the women who made it seeped into the dough and the fatty fat fat augmented that essence. Kind of a cheesy sentiment--eventually I forgot about that bread until I saw "Navajo Tacos" on the testing list for Celine and Tami's new sandwich cookbook. I glanced at the ingredients and noted the fried bread. All memories of Taos and 30 days of chili sauce flooded my brain and taste buds.

This is an awesome meal to prepare if you're short on ingredients and time. The perfectly spiced chickpea chorizo topped with corn salsa and lying ever so lovingly on home made flat bread will turn your tongue into a giant dream catcher. I do not imbibe the alcohol, but if I were a drinker, I'd say a Mexican beer with a fat lime wedge would tie the room together. I stuck with iced blueberry tea.

So...I want to do more than just plug the sandwich book for the rest of the month. I want to get you to get your friends to get their friends, who will tell their friends to read That PITA Vegan. Why? Well, next month is Vegan MOFO and I want to try another stab at my ONE MILLION hit goal. I plan on donating a substantial portion of the earnings to Mother Hubbard's Cupboard and the Monroe County Humane Association. Can you help a sister out? I get $3 per 1,000 US impressions. I thought world wide hits counted, but it does not. I mean it does to me, but to FoodBuzz it doesn't. That's okay, because I know if I get really loud about this event, a miracle will happen. One million US impressions would mean a paycheck of 3 thousand bucks. I plan on donating 1/3 to MHC, 1/3 to the MCHA, and 1/3 for my family to fix my car and pay medical bills. If I don't make the million hit goal, perhaps I'll get more traffic than last MOFO.

My theme this year is going to be OFF THE CHAIN. I am not going to tell you what it is, so you'll have to stay tuned to find out more. I'll also have a couple of giveaways: Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian zine by Kittee, some tea, and who knows what else. If you're really curious, I'll give you a clue. Most of the food will have a certain color in it. You might think that hint is rather lame, but I assure you that you will keep coming back for more during MOFO.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Okay, okay, okay--there's more to life than sandwiches!

Southern Fried Tempeh with Gravy. You had me at fried!
After child #1-(2007-8) and during the pregnancy of child #2,-(2008-9) I did some testing for Bianca's upcoming Southern Vegan Cookbook. Whuuuut? Yes, there are more vegan cookbooks to buy. After looking at my food porn archives, I noticed I tested more than a few recipes of hers. She's been working on this for a while, and the hard work has paid off. These pics are my favorite recipes from the book. The release is slated for 2012. Sigh. I'm kind of broke, so every time one comes out I get all @)*%#$ me! Quit writing cookbooks, y'all! I can hardly keep up with the ones I have! My solution is asking the library to order it so everyone gets exposed to vegan love and my limited budget is a little happier.

Smart, ain't I?

And if you are a hardcore reader of my blog, you'll notice this entry is a rerun of sorts. That's not a bad thing because a) it's a gentle reminder to save up more $$ to buy another cookbook by an awesome vegan and b) I'm keeping up with blogging. My foodbuzz money to charity goal is about getting more traffic. Well, I'm not going to get more traffic if I don't blog. Duh.
Country Potato Soup-Easy on the wallet and really filling.
I couldn't make an entry without talking about this sandwich. I said it when I blogged about it way back then and I'll say it again: I nearly had to have my jaw surgically removed to eat this. It was a sandwich of hedonistic proportions.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Tell Tofurkey to get bent!

What do we have here, a log of some kind? Looks kind of plain, is this a batch of slice and bake cookie dough, or some sort of crazy mystery meat?
Yes, it is a log. No, it ain't cookie dough. And a big FAT NO to the mystery of this meat. This is a shot of what you can do with Celine and Tami's Gobbler Slices from their upcoming sandwich book. I put mine on a cibatta roll with bacon bitz, red onion, beannaise*(DUDE OMG!), and some fresh parsley and tomatoes from my garden.

Are you sick of reading about this cook book? You shouldn't. You should be setting aside some money to buy it, and more importantly buy some stock in what could possibly be the best seitan based meat since Tofurkey. You hear me, Tofurkey? Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It's that good.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Jamaican me crazy!

Hey mon, you know what I could really go for? Marinated seitan that makes me hum Bob Marley tunes and served with a gloriously fruity salsa. Hot-salty-sweet-fruity-meaty-seitany goodness. Throw that on a bun and call it a day, why don't you?

You were supposed to read that with an accent, btw.

This is called the Jamaican Dip, but I'd rather call it the Sister Cleo. You'll be predicting the future and charging people $5.99 a minute just to talk to you after eating one. I hope your interest in Celine and Tami's upcoming sandwich cookbook is growing, because I keep testing like a testing fool.

Don't forget vegan MOFO is next month. And boy howdy, do I have a theme for your eyeballs.

Sorry I'm not funnier today. I've been sick the past two days and both kids are ill as well. I'll bring the buckets of chuckles later.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Don't tell me: you just got dumped, you didn't get that promotion, and you didn't win the lottery. All hope seems lost. There-there, sit for a spell and have one of Aunt Tami and Celine's tasty peanut butter n' brownie sandwiches. Here's a cold glass of almond milk to wash it down real good. Feel better?

So yeah, I basically made this face after I took a bite of that tester cookie. That's the contorting face of a joyous foodgasm. Want the recipe? Too bad, you'll have to wait until it comes out on teh interwebz. It's a cookbook full of nuthin' but sammiches: open faced, closed faced, stuffed, and dessertified.
This is the cookie you have when you want to give up on everything, when Aunt Flo comes to visit, or have some sort of event that can only be healed with the salve of something decadent. Don't worry about going off the deep end either, one cookie takes care of your ills. Thanks for reading, I'm gonna take a nap.

Photo by Kelly Peloza

Monday, September 5, 2011

Sure, I'll have some meat.

Give me a home where the buffalo roam: The Wingwich.

I'm working on the video entry from VVC, and because of the time involved, it will be a bit before it is posted. That won't stop me from talking about yummy food.

Hands down, the most inspiring part of the conference was listening to Colleen Patrick Goudreau's discussion on how important it is to be an ambassador of compassion. She preached the good news of taking back the words meat and milk. I remember reading about this in Veg News a while back and going, "Uh-huh!" while pumping my fist into the air.

So listen up, even though I'm a vegan I DO eat meat and I DO drink milk. Both are sourced from plants which are real living things, so there's no need to call it fake, faux, pseudo, et al. I think it is a disservice to veganism to call meat "fake" because it just reinforces the stereotype that vegan food is awful. The food I eat is delicious and real. I encourage you to look at some of the food on this blog. Just look at the shot of that buffalo sandwich at the top of the page. Does that look like an illusion? This is one of the many noshables you'll find in Celine and Tami's upcoming vegan sandwich cookbook. Shown above is the Wingwich, and a twist on the Reuben called the Rachel is shown below the text. Both were amazing to test, eat, and most of all--were REAL sandwiches.

The Rachel: like BBQ pulled pork? Like reubens? Why not have both?

Readers: what keeps you from trying vegan food? What would you like to see veganized?

Vegans: what meat kept you from attempting veganism/vegetarianism?

Friday, September 2, 2011

Crushes, cooking demos, and BBQ: VVC report #4

This entry is full of information overload and I'm not going to apologize. This is from the cooking demonstration at Whole Foods with Joni Newman and Kelly Peloza. The demo was an Indian Style BBQ with seitan koftas w/tahini dipping sauce, curried cole slaw, and rosewater lemonade cupcakes. Wowza. I'm not just saying that because I think Joni or Kelly is reading this, the food was good. So tasty, I'm serving this menu for our upcoming Labor Day picinic.

Vida Vegan Con reminded just how sexy vegans are. I was knee deep in Hotville, population 200+. Crushed out all weekend gawking at vegan superstars and a few cuties I had never met in person. I was so dumbfounded by all the beauty, I neglected to take many photos. The energy wasn't just coming from the outside, people really oozed some genuine positive goodness from within that I really cherished. I was able to break down on day#2 and really cry the good tears of gratitude, and cried a little more on my way home.

Each time I talked to someone I felt like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, specifically when she said she "carried a watermelon." Blush. Blush. Blush. I think I did a pretty good job playing it cool. I'm sure some of The Big Names get oohed and aahed over all the time and wanted some space. I really dug how a few people came up to me and talked to me like they had known me all my life and was my BFF. Shucks!

Left to right: Louzilla, yours truly, THE Laura from Vegansaurus!, and Kelly Cookiepants Peloza. Kelly makes the cutest dresses.
Cupcakes! They were melt in your mouth good. Tasted like a bite of sunshine. Who needs bling-bling like a grill when you can just have one of these?
Curried coleslaw is my new favorite side! Pssst, there are currants in that stuff.
Seitan really does beat your meat: koftas that will transport you to your favorite beach.
I was so moved by everyone's testimonials of soy curls, I bought two pounds worth at Whole Foods. This will last me for many meals, and I have some mad plans for them including the soy curl dust at the bottom of the bag. I carried this gaggle of curls around like it was my own child, and some teased me. That's okay, I named the bag "Curly." Pictured with Curly is Joanna of Yellow Rose Recipes. She is also adorable.
Let's talk some crunk: Bianca is more gorgeous in person than any photo you will ever see of her. Those eyes are a tall drink of somethin'-somethin', ain't they? Guess what else? She doesn't speak with a Southern accent. I teased her about this, I know that's kind of ignorant. She told me it comes out when she gets really drunk. I never got to see that.
Meeting new friends was just one of the many bonuses of PDX. On the right is Kelly from kohlrabiandquince. She's lovely, has a calming presence, and loves Fraggles. She was my roomie on Sunday night at the PDX Super 8-( a great bargain and awesome customer service!) and my dinner-(the bye and bye)/doughnut date. She told me to try a chick-o-stick doughnut at Voodoo, and well--I'm hooked. I'm going to try to replicate some of that shop's craziness right here in Indiana. I'm hoping we stay in touch.

Coming up next: my VVC video diary!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

My swag bag: VVC report #3

At Vida Vegan Con, we were all given not one, but two swag bags. A mega huge one with all sorts of goodies like Vegan Queso by Food for Lovers, Hannah Kamminsky's My Sweet Vegan, Biscoff cookies, Dandies, a spice mill, a coconut meat scraper, two extra bags within the bag, and oh God--the list goes on and on.

In our smaller brown bag of swag we had a number of other goodies: Toms of Maine toothpaste, some homemade soap, condoms-(what are those for?), Mary's Gone Quackers GF snacks, and a "chocolate" raw food bar by Vega.

Fat Gay Vegan -(I wish I had more time to talk to him at the conference) made a tweet the other day-(oh BTW I'm on twitter now! @thatPITAvegan) asking if it was okay for one vegan to be critical of another vegan. I milled this one over in my frontal lobe for a while. There are two ways one can deliver honesty, it can be delivered like a gentle embrace or you can club someone over the head with it. If I had a product that was displeasing to the vegan community, I would want to know about it, but I wouldn't want the person to be really douchey about it, either. I've been on both ends of the spectrum, being a critic and the criticized-- I'm not a fan of being called out in front of others in a particular obnoxious way. Given that, I'll refrain from any lengthy discourse about how it lacked in chocolate and taste. My rating is one turntable. I will give some positives:

  • Totally filling. Normally, I'm all nommy mc nom-nom by the time I get home and need a snack. Today I didn't need one.
  • It was free. Free is a good price.
  • The flavor reminded me of Fig Newton innards.
  • I'm thinking post workout snack or good to bring along for a hike. I would accompany it with some fresh fruit though.
Questions, questions, and questions:
  • What is your favorite food in bar form?
  • Have you ever had to offer feedback on a product or an event and struggled with positive blogging?
  • Do you believe in positive blogging?
  • What would you make for a vegetarian or omnivore that needed food in bar form?