Vegan MOFO Day #19: Ears to You, Daryl

Reader Erinwiko from Aussieland asked if I was going to do a post about Daryl's ear necklace. Yep! I wanted to save this for later this month. I didn't make my holes big enough, so I couldn't make a necklace, but that doesn't mean these ears and dip weren't tasty. Getcha some.

The cracker recipe is the cheezy quackers by Celine Steen. The dip is by me and is my new favorite: Olive Ranch. Super easy to make. And Mike Tyson thought he'd never get to eat ears again once going vegan.

Olive Ranch Dip
You'll need

• 1/2 c. vegan mayo
• 1/3 c. vegan cream cheese
• 1/4 c. chopped spanish olives
• 1 t. garlic powder
• 1T no salt all purpose seasoning
• 1/4 t. dill
• 1/4 t. parsley

Mix it all together and let it chill overnight in the fridge, so the flavors can meld. Serve with your favorite cracker or veggie.

Vegan MOFO Day #12: Sophia's GF Pasta Bake

Before Sophia drank the zombie kool-aid, she loved to help her mom in the kitchen. She actually specialized in gluten free eats due to having celiac disease. This was her favorite dinner. She tried to tell me how to make it, but all I heard was hiss-groan-mumble-hiss-groan-mumble-hiss. If the undead can walk and eat brains, why can't they speak in clear sentences? I decided I would be nice and translate for her.

Sophia's GF Pasta Bake
You'll need:
2pkgs Tofu Shirataki noodles
1/2 jar Red Pasta Sauce (pick your favorite, check those labels for milk!)
1/2 c. favorite pesto sauce. You can use mine.
1/2 c. salted cashews
1/2 t garlic powder
1/4 c. nutritional yeast aka "nooch"
1/2 c. sun dried tomatoes
1/4 c. black olives

Preheat the oven to 350. Spray a loaf pan with nonstick spray and set aside. Drain and rinse shirataki noodles and put in pan. Cover noodles with half a jar of pasta sauce, or a little more if you desire. Dollop pesto sauce on top. Sprinkle olives and sun dried tomatoes on top. Pulse the cashews and nooch in a food processor or coffee mill. Finally, sprinkle the garlic powder on top. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until bubbly.

Vegan MOFO Day #8: Andrea's Zombie Fingers

Andrea might not always know how to act or shoot a gun, but she can sure make a mean spring roll.

"They're called zombie fingers." She says.

Spring rolls filled with a mixture of fakin' bacon bitz, avocado, veganaise, yellow pepper, lettuce, and tomato. Perfect for those days when it is just too hot to cook. These make great appetizers for those pre-shooting practices. You want to be in tip top shape to take a walker down, and these will get you there.

Andrea's Zombie Fingers
You'll need:
Spring roll wrappers

• 1 avocado
• 2T bacos or other favorite brand of fake bacon bitz
• 1/4 c. chopped tomato
• 1/2 c. chopped favorite green or lettuce
• 2 T veganaise
• 1 yellow pepper, chopped

Smash avocado and add chopped veggies, bacon bitz, and veganaise. The mixture will look kind of gross, but I assure you it is delicious. Get your spring rolls wrappers ready per package instructions, and spoon two small spoon fulls of the mixture in the middle of every wrapper and roll into tight -(you can see my wrapping abilities are shitty) fingers. For presentation, arrange on a plate or platter in the shape of a hand. Have a nosh and reload.

Vegan MOFO Day #3: Dale's Sensible Hash

 I'm really mad that no one thought of looking for walkers in Dale's nostrils. They're huge. Just loot at 'em.

 I tried to bring it up at one of our camp meetings, but no everyone was distracted by the Rick/Shane/Lori love triangle, and the whole idea ended up hurting Dale's feelings. When I apologized for my rhino insensitivity, Dale just hugged me and said it was okay. What a guy. We bonded around the campfire and he showed me how to make one of his favorite breakfast dishes.

Dale's Sensible Hash

You'll need:

• 1 bag Simply Potatoes, sliced variety* (WARNING: linking to their page will show non-vegan food) the link was only put as a reference, I receive no compensation whatsoever from the company.)
• 1 can of blackeye peas
• 1 c. chopped bell pepper-(i used a combo of green and yellow)
• 1.5 c. chopped kale
• 1/2 c. chopped onion
• 1/2 c. your favorite hot sauce
• 1 T olive oil

 Saute your onion and peppers in the oil. Add potatoes. Drain and rinse your peas, then add the peas, kale, and hot sauce to the skillet after the potatoes have fully cooked. Serve with your favorite bread or bagel. This tasty plate of goodness will fuel you with plenty of energy to lecture people while standing on top of a Winnebago.

PLEASE HELP ME GO TO VIDA VEGAN CON. I pledge to donate 10% of all monies to my local food bank. If I don't make enough to go, I'll donate it all to MHC. You can send that money to jennifermolica@gmail.com at PayPal. ANY AMOUNT WILL HELP. Thanks!

Vegan MOFO Day #1: Daryl's Iced Camp Coffee

 

In 2012 the zombie apocalypse does in fact happen. The Mayans were right! After numerous warnings to the public about the consumption of fast food and all things meat, a virus that only lives in the cellular structure of animal flesh and their byproducts infects the masses with an epic disease that drives everyone insane with brain munching rage. Pray tell, are there any survivors? 

Fear not, there are some who have dodged the bullet: a group of ballsy vegans who meet together outside of Atlanta and form a crazy assed army.  Guess what? They took me in and now I  have a new family. This month, we will provide you with some of our favorite recipes that will leave you satisfied, and ready to kick the ass of many a walker. I realize killing anything goes against the ethic of the gentle herbivore, but there comes a time where one must decide to eat or be eaten. What do you want to do? I  don't know about you, but I just hate rotting flesh and smelling like Limburger. Everything changes when the undead are shuffling amok. So gimme a gun already.

So, we're all getting tired of killing zombies and feeling a little on the dead side. I woke up this morning and Daryl told me he ain't doin' shit until he's had his coffee. Fuck those walkers. Sigh. I love it when he talks like that. One day, I'll marry him and we'll have the most adorable Jewish-vegan-atheist-white supremacists ever. He raids a Stuckey's along the highway and comes up with this delightful concoction: the iced camp coffee. Now technically, this isn't coffee made at camp, it's just the leftover crap from the night before, or god knows for how long. Anyone who knows anything understands the java brew of gas stations tastes a lot like something that has been boiled in a dirty pan back at camp 'Pocky.

You'll need:

Day old coffee

1/2 c. non dairy milk

1/8 c. chocolate syrup

Combine ingredients in a mason jar, and shake furiously. Store in between some rocks in a cold stream, or use a refrigerator if you have access to one.

 After drink has sufficiently chilled, get yourself some. With a magician's flourish, you will look like this. Me-yow.

The Big Bake Easy HOLIDAY EDITION!

Hey there kid, GET AWAY FROM THE TABLE! Yep that's my boy. Standing behind a table of sweets completely pantsless. Kind of priceless, don't you think?
Here it is pre-sale. Even if I had the best camera in the world, I'm pretty sure my food photography would suck because I cannot get my hands to stand still. Perhaps it is because I engaged in lots of sampling prior to party time! Seriously, I ate a lot of sugar. It doesn't matter if it's organic. Sweets are sweets.

I had this in-home bake sale to try to raise a little money for my family and for a local animal care facility. I was really banking on getting a holiday bonus from my regular job, but it turns out that I shouldn't have assumed that. So, instead of feeling sorry for myself I thought I'd hold a bake sale and expose peeps to vegan goods. Here's the menu:

Mocha Cappuccino Cookies from The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur, made gluten free with 1c teff flour, 1 c soy flour, and 1.5 t of xanthan gum. I have found this to be a great combination for cookies. You might need to add more liquids (a T at a time) though because those flours are grainy and absorb quite a bit of water.

Lower Fat Chocolate Bundt Cake from Veganomicon, made gluten free. This time I think I got the flour combo better: 1/3 potato starch, 2/3 teff flour, and 1 c garbanzo flour. I liked the way the cookie crumb held together with the 1.5 t of xanthan, so I added that much again. This produced a delightful moist cake. I made them into cupcakes that I topped with Ricki Heller's amazing whoopie pie filling-(go here to try it!) and a smaller cake that I topped with the peanut butter caramel recipe from Veganomicon. I threw some chocolate chips into the caramel for the hell of it. Good choice.

Chocolate Crinkles from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar

Gingerbread Biscotti from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar- I topped them with a saffron/lemon buttercream frosting. This was nice.

Smolve Pie from Veganomicon. Now I know what everyone is talkin' about. HOLY SHIT that's good pie.

Chocolate Mint Wafer Cookies-(aka thick mints) from The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur

Seven Layer Bars from The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur

Oatmeal Scotchies from The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur



I ran out of time to make Celine's Black Bean Brownies and CCKatie's Fudge Babies. Have no fear, there's still time before Christmas! I think it's laughable that I worried that I didn't make enough food.


I made impromptu serving trays with old records, paper towel tubes, gift wrap, and a little glue. After the party I used them as a holder for washcloths in the bathroom.


SMOLVE PIE!
Lower Fat Chocolate Bundt Cake made GF and topped with chocolate peanut butter caramel with baby cupcakes and a sprinkle of powdered sugar. Gives you the diabeetus.

Butterscotch No Bakes from The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur- I made these gluten free by omitting the flour and adding 1/3 c. butterscotch chips to the soft boil mixture. The dough is a little testy, but the cookies do hold up just fine without the flour.





I spent about $35 on the ingredients. I made $33 yesterday and have 9 people who couldn't make it to the event wanting $4 goodie bags. Not a bad haul. $69 total, and when factoring in the 25% to charity, that's $17.25 that Wildcare didn't have before the sale! So I made back what I spent and spread the good news of vegan goods to my buddies. Yay! Thanks to everyone who helped make this happen. Never doubt the power of baked goods whether making them, eating them, selling them, or all of the above. Vegan baking is easy and good for the soul.

MOFO Day #26 True Grub: Jessica's Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri

You don't have to be like King of the Bill and make a waywardly yet hot read headed virgin vampire out of punishment by The Authority. Nope. You can make a virgin drink instead.
Seriously, folks. This ain't complicated. This is a glass of cool, refreshing, and sweet strawberry bliss. Just like Vampire Jessica.


You'll need:
1 can of cold ginger ale
1 heaping cup of frozen strawberries
a blender


Can you guess what you need to do? That's right, put the strawberries in the blender, add the ginger ale and make it slushy. Goes well with Covenly Tacos, which I'll talk about tomorrow.

MOFO Day #14 True Grub: Jason Stackhouse Po Boy

You have made a mighty fine mess of things Jason Stackhouse. You've charmed the pannies off women from Bon Temps to Dallas, was blamed for several murders, had a run in with V that led to a crazy boner, was possessed by a maenad, killed The Love of Tara's Life, fell for a meth cook in Hotshot, thought you might be a werepanther, and stole your best friends' gal. That's a lot of stuff for one guy to shoulder. But I've got something that will make you forget about everything.
Tofu Catfish. Fried stuff with sauce makes EVERYTHING BETTER.
See the magic happening as the nuggets bathe in hot canola oil?
Slap that on an everything hoagie bun with all the fixin's and Alcide's Dilly of a Comeback Sauce.
OOOOOOhhhhh.


This recipe was inspired by Dallas Vegan's post about vegan catfish. For the life of me, I couldn't find the recipe, so I had to improvise and come up with something from memory. For you new to veganism or omnis making food for your vegan friends, the key to capturing essence of the sea is seaweed and some Old Bay Seasoning. If you don't have OB, you can make your own or grab elements of the seasoning blend: hot pepper, black pepper, salt, bay leaves, and some paprika.

Tofu Catfish
1.5 c. garbanzos
14 oz pkg firm tofu
1/4 t. lemon pepper seasoning
1/4 t. fresh ground black pepper
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. red pepper flakes
1 T powdered Nori
1/2 t celery flakes

Pulse everything in food processor, you want it chunky and not smooth. Set aside

Coating

1/3 c. cornmeal
1/4 c. oat flour
1/2 c. Rice Krispies (to make gluten free, you need to find GF crisp rice cereal, because Rice Krispies have barley malt in them, which some cannot tolerate)
1/4 t. cayenne
1 t. onion powder
1/2 t. garlic powder
pinch of coriander
1-2 t. salt
black pepper
couple dashes of paprika

Heat oil in your Fry Daddy or in a deep skillet at least 1 inch deep. Wait patiently.
I tried making shrimp shapes out of the tofu, but they ultimately fell apart. Make nuggets or patties out of tofu mixture and roll in the coating. Once the oil is hot, gently place your nuggets or patties in the oil. For a lower fat version, you can bake these in a 350 oven, just make sure you spray your pan with some non-stick spray and flip the patties or nuggets over after 7-9 minutes and cook for another 10. But baking these won't be as awesome as frying them. Duh.

Fry for a few minutes on one side, then several more minutes on the other. Drain your tofu catfish on paper towels and prepare your buns for some lovin':

Everything hoagie buns- (get GF if you are GF)
Italian flat leaf parsley
Fresh tomatoes
Thinly sliced red onion


You're in luck That PITA Vegan readers--I'm giving you a bonus recipe. Don't worry, I actually made TWO versions of Alcide's Comeback Sauce and will post the sweet version in another post. Rather than uncontrollably giggle while trying to explain what comeback sauce is, just click on this link. I personally think the savory dill version works better with the tofu catfish, but that's up to you. There are sweet pickle people and dill pickle people.

I'm a dilly fer sure. Totally.

Alcide's Dilly of a Comeback Sauce

1 c. PLAIN UNSWEETENED vegan yogurt
1/2 c. olive oil, set aside
1-2 t. Louisiana hot sauce
1 t. dijon mustard
1 t. nutritional yeast
1/2 t. miso
1 t. apple cider vinegar
1-2 big cloves of garlic
1 t. onion powder
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
1T Bragg's liquid aminos
1 T fresh dill

Blend everything together minus the olive oil, then slowly pour that in last. You will have a gorgeous, thick, and delicious chili dill mayonnaise perfect for everything, especially this sammich.


I realize I forgot about Food Blogger Friday last week! Silly me. Here's a fantastic fellow blogger that I met at Vida Vegan Con: Samantha at Novel Eats. She's super nice and her site is way informative, especially if you are new to planet vegan. Let's not forget the recipes! I envy her organization.

Holiday World: yep, they are vegan friendly!

Most of the time the myth that veganism is a pain in the ass is incorrect. If there's a grocery store in your area, then you can easily assemble vegan food to eat. What about those wacky situations like visiting an amusement park that doesn't allow outside food into the park? Don't worry, you don't have to eat air and drink your tears of misery or sneak contraband into the park while Judas Priest is blaring in your brain. Holiday World in Santa Claus, IN has vegan options. Huzzah!

Take note:

Ian's Soy Cheezy French Bread Pizza Ian's Mac & NO Cheese
Enjoy Life Soft Double Chocolate Brownie Bites
Isabella's Best Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
Silk Vanilla and Chocolate individual soy milks
Tofutti Marry Me and Totally Fudge ice cream bars



All you have to do is ask to see the allergen free menu. There is a ridiculous wait time for cooked food; however, I have hopefully taken care of this by writing the food management staff to let them know about the issue during my recent visit. I also let them know I was super happy about the items on the menu. Many are gluten free too, so fear not my XXgfXX pals! If you want to write them to tell them how awesome they are for providing vegan options, you can write them at foodmanager@holidayworld.com I've informed them that vegans are a pretty loyal customer base. It would be pretty rad if they heard from a whole gaggle of us, dontcha think?

Holiday World is one of the Midwest's best kept amusement park secrets, and I'm not sure why more people don't know about this place. I never even knew about it until I moved here eleven years ago. Santa Claus, IN? Whuuut? Imagine if Ned Flanders opened up a theme park and toned down the proselytizing. Since it is dedicated to US Holidays, you will see and hear some Christ themed X-Mas music and a little bit of GO USA flavor, but it is hardly detectable because you'll be distracted by having an awesome time. It is SUPER clean, mostly smoke free-(they have smoking sections in various parts of the park outdoors), and the best bargain for your money. Seriously, the admission price gets you rides and admission into the water park which is absolutely phenomenal. My favorite part is The Voyage roller coaster which is an over 3 minute thrill ride that will easily take a few years off your life. This is pretty long by ride standards! You get free sunscreen-(not sure of the veganness) and unlimited soft drinks and water all day long. Crazy!

Their season is almost over, but I encourage you to make plans for next year. The best times to go is in May or September when it is slower.