A new twist on peanut butter and bacon

Did Elvis really eat peanut butter and bacon sandwiches? I have no idea. Must be one of those urban legends, like pop rocks and soda. This sandwich is not the stuff of fairy tales, this is something I thought about all day long while I sold garden products at work. I kept thinking, what am I going to do with that Thai Sesame Peanut flavored tofu by West Soy and with that eggplant in the fridge?

I took a trip back to 2009 and looked at the concoction I threw together for eggplant bacon. I upped it a notch by marinating, baking, then pan frying in a little oil. I put it on top of some of the said Thai Peanut tofu, put a little arugula on some bread along with onion, beannaise-(from The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook), and the obligatory pickle. It was awesome! I decided I'd call it the ElviSteen McNoyes after The King, Celine, and Tami. I just can't test sandwiches for people all Summer and try to think that I can walk away from it all without a little inspiration.

Since daylight savings time has arrived, I can't take pictures outside like I used to. My solution has been to take them directly under the stove light. I'm known for bringin' the funny rather than my photo skills, but I think the results are better than flash, don't you?

Some just don't make the cut

Here's a sammie that didn't make it into Celine and Tami's book. Eliminating recipes when your cook book is too full must be hard. I was bummed about this one getting the boot.

This is a barbecued eggplant over chard open faced dealy. Eggplant is such an egg-celent vegetable to bbq because the flesh lends itself to really absorb whatever you cook it in and it has a meaty texture. When this sweet n' spicy nightshade is paired with the creamy mayo flavor of a swiss chard slaw, well don't say I didn't warn you. If you're using GF bread, then this is an easy gluten free sandwich to throw together. This is also a signature sandwich for a summer bbq, or when you want to pretend you're having a summer bbq in the middle of a snowstorm.

Have you ever tested a recipe that didn't make the cut? You don't have to tell me what it was. Did it bum you out?

Clinging to gardening season

The tomatoes have been put to rest, the land has been mulched, the garlic has been planted for a spring harvest, stuff has been washed, chopped, and stored in the freezer. The greens are still standing--this makes me feel alive. I'm happy when I can garden for as long as possible.

But soon this will end. What will I do? I have a small light system and I plan on keeping a tomato plant alive during the winter as well as growing some greens. I hope this works. I absolutely refuse to buy robo tomatoes.

Pictured above is the Talbot in a Jar from True Grub. I put it on some toasted farm bread and served it with a salad of greens from my very own condo garden. I am in LOVE with arugula. How could I have ignored this green for so long? I put it in just about everything, and I mean everything. Mr. J. got really mad the other night when he saw me snuggling with a bunch of it in bed. Tee hee.


PS- side note: people have asked me where I acquired my plate set. Get ready for this! K-Mart. That's right, K-Mart. Jaqueline Smith Collection.

MOFO Day #27 True Grub: Covenly Tacos

Benefits of being a witch:

• Badass Spells
• Medium powers
• Best friends with Guys who listen to Stevie Nicks
• Access to lots of herbs
• Glowing eyes
• Lots of holidays to celebrate

Downside of being a witch:

• Frumpy clothes
• It sucks being on a broomstick in the rain
  
• What if you're not into chanting?
• That whole Goddess thing
• Unfaithful followers
  
• Ingredients that are probably not vegan

When I was little, I wanted to be a witch in the worst way. I wanted to have powers that made my childhood bullies cry like little bitches, turned people into toads, and did all my homework. I recall emptying my mother's spice cabinet and mixing all of her extracts and herbs, then mushing it with a banana and making my brother drink it. He ended up barfing everywhere and I couldn't watch television for a week. TELEVISION!

Lesson? Being a solo practitioner is a dangerous thing. It is better to work in a group. When these ingredients stand alone, they're kind of lame. When hangin' together in a recipe coven, the flavors do something that is a little crafty.

I bring you, Covenly Tacos


A soft tortilla filled with breaded seasoned eggplant, a touch of daiya, green with envy salsamole, and a little beannaise.
Check it out y'all.

These go really well with Jessica's Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri.

To make the tacos you'll need:

soft tortillas
daiya cheese
1 medium eggplant


Marnie's Eggplant Fries

Breading Mixture
3/4 c. corn meal
3/4 c. oat flour
1 heaping T of Ms. Dash chipotle blend
1 t. paprika
1 t. onion powder
1 t. salt
1/2 t. garlic powder
mix together in a bowl

set aside in a shallow dish:
1 cup plain unsweetened soy milk
2 cap full of AC vinegar
wait a minute or so and whisk

Wash, peel, and slice your eggplant into steak fries. With one hand dip the pieces in your buttermilk, then carefully roll them in the breading mixture with the other hand. Lay on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 12 minutes on one side, and 15 on the other. You want them to be tender and a little crispy on the outside. If you wanna go big, deep fry them, but I was trying to avoid it. I just can't eat fried shit every day.

Antonia has gone bananas salsamole
1 c. chopped combo of green tomatoes & tomatillos
1 peeled kiwi
1 small onion chopped
3 banana peppers, finely chopped
juice of 1 lime
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 c. cilantro
2 t chopped jalapenos (optional)
pinch of salt
1 c. avocado

Puree the green stuff with the garlic, then add your onion, peppers, lime, cilantro, jalapenos, and salt. This will taste weird on its own, but trust me people it makes the taco work.

Assembling the tacos:

Grill your tortilla with a little of the daiya on top until melty. Add your cooked eggplant, a spoonful or two of the salsamole, and add a teaspoon of beannaise. Feel free to eat while sitting in a circle plotting to bring down the vampire race.

MOFO Day #21 True Grub: Talbot in a Jar

Okay, I'll come clean. Eric didn't kill Talbot to avenge his family, I staked him because I'm nowhere near my 1 million US hit goal. I'm pretty sure that staking a vampire isn't vegan. My demented logic tells me so the f*ck what, Talbot's a vampire and could kill me with no remorse. So I had to kill him.

As you know I can't shut up about my 1 million US hit goal for MOFO. It's important to me, because that money is going to charity. So far, I've had around 4,300 hits, and I'm not entirely sure they are all from the US. If they are that's $12 from FoodBuzz for me to give to 2 local charities, which really isn't a lot--but most certainly helps. I know we can do better, people. So start clicking and telling every one of your friends they need to visit That PITA Vegan. I don't think we'll make the million hits, but I'd really like to get as close as possible. Last year, I made $15 and my spouse matched it for a total of $30 to contribute to my local food bank. $1 buys 7# of food I think. Talbot was so gorgeous. Please don't make me kill any more vampires.

Russell doesn't know it, but I secretly replaced his Jar of Talbot with a delicious concoction of eggplant, spices, and tomato paste.

This is a gorgeous, thick, and rich sauce perfect for a Stromboli, sandwich, pasta, or calzone.
I used mine in a savory stuffed pancake. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before--that was sheer genius. Absolutely Divine.


Talbot in a Jar

• 1 c. tomato paste
• 1 c. water
• 2 t. minced garlic (dried)
• 1 T. balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 t. salt
• 2 T olive oil
• 1 medium eggplant (about 4 c. worth) washed n' diced--yes, you can peel it if you hate the skin.
• 1 small zucchini diced

Heat oven to three fiddy. Spray a loaf pan with some canola oil spray and set aside. In a bowl mix all of the ingredients with your**clean** hands and pretend you are cleaning up a staked vampire. It's pretty gross. Put the mixture in the loaf pan, cover with foil, and stick that in the oven for about a half an hour. Check on it, give it a stir, and bake for another half hour or until the eggplant is sort of translucent and falling apart---y'know, like a vampire that just met True Death.

i don't wanna work, i just wanna bang on my timbale all day...

okay okay...i'm confused. when i saw this being made on the food network's itallian cookin' show, the chick said that this was called a timbale, which meant drum in itallian. i looked up timbale on google, and it's a term for a cone shaped mold in cooking and is derived from "thimble". i think it's itallian for "yummy veganized eggplant upside down casserole". this was really pretty and i didn't want to cut it, but we were all hungry. it all fell apart and didn't make neat pie-like slices like the food network lady, but oh well. i think to preserve the prettiness during presentation (sorry for the alliteration), i'll make mini timbales with cupcake tins. i'll let you know how it works out.

anyway, i'm not a recipe person so here's a loose interpretation

• cooked pasta (the recipe called for ziti, but i used macaroni because it was on sale. i used the fortified stuff that has lots o' protien and fiber)
• pasta sauce- i made some home made from tomatoes, tomato paste, oregano, basil...you foodies know how to make sauce, right?
• peas
• smart ground seasoned with some sage and fennel seeds. or you can just buy gimme lean sausage
• follow your heart mozzarella
• grilled eggplant slices- (a couple large eggplants worth)
• basil for garnish
• round casserole pan (the recipe calls for a spring form pan, but us punks use what we can)

so you cook the macaroni and drain. cook the mock meat in a skillet with the peas. mix pasta, fake meat, peas, and sauce (this will look like goulash) and set aside. preheat the oven to 350. take that casserole dish and line the pan with grilled eggplant. it is very important that you grill the eggplant. line the pan so that the eggplant hangs over kind of like long flower petals. make sure the bottom of the pan is covered. okay, put some shredded follow your heart mozzie on the eggplant, then add the goulash mixture, then sprinkle some more on top. fold the eggplant slices over so it looks like a nice little package. take any remaining eggplant slices and cover the top of the casserole with it. you shouldn't see any goulash at all. bake in the oven for 45 minutes. take out of oven and let cool for 5-10 minutes. take a plate and put on top of casserole and turn upside down like you would an upside down cake. if you're lucky, it'll turn out pretty. marvel at the pretty. top with some fresh basil leaves and take a picture. if you're feeling ambitious, make some vegan tiramisu for dessert.

i hope that made sense.

moussaka to me baby

i always feel the need to apologize for my food porn. this is a shitty photo, but i assure you the moussaka is not. this is another vegan recipe i improvised and it was so good i could have eaten the whole tray. i really heart me some eggplant. i like making big batches of stuff so i can store extra in the freezer and savor it later when i'm lazy and don't wanna cook. frozen meals also come in handy when a friend has a baby, is sick, or has experienced a death in the family. please, please, i urge y'all to make double batches if you can and freeze it for a friend.