With Love from Nayonaise

The folks from Nayonaise, Nasoya Inc. sent me a care package with not one, but TWO jars of their new Nayonaise formula. The first tasted like mayo, and I used it liberally with my favorite go-to sammie: the avocado and bacon bitz special. I take half an avocado, slice, put on toasted bread with a tablespoon of bacon bits and some nayo. It was awesome.

The second jar was of Nayo Whipped, which--I swear to all things holy tastes just like the competitor's product that rhymes with Schmiracle Schmwhip. I plan on using it to veganise a dessert from my childhood: the amazing Miracle Whip cake.  For those of you who are unsure as to how to veganize a recipe, it's easy. Replace non-vegan items like milk, eggs, sugar, etc. with vegan ones like soymilk, ground flax seed, and turbinado. It's not rocket science. In fact, you should probably buy the amazeballs book The Complete Guide to Vegan Food Substitutions. That book gives you step-by-step instructions on how to take an omnivore dish and make it vegan. If you're a beginner to veganism, it's a really neat how-to guide.

Squeaky Clean with Local Vegan Soap!

For my birthday, my super spouse got me a bar of Nature's Proportions Spiced Pumpkin Loaf Bar. Melanie Pool makes her own laundry and bar soaps and such and you can find her Pinterest page here!

Not all of her soaps are vegan, but this bar was as well as many others. Smelling distinctly of pumpkin pie, I kind of wanted to eat my face after washing with it.

Here's a link to her Etsy page, in case you're curious. I give the vegan bars two turn tables and a microphone.

Product Review: 2 New Flavors from Lilly's Hummus!

I know, you're probably sick of me being an advertisement for Lilly's Hummus.  I'll tell you something, once you take a bite, you'll be converted--this shit is insanely good, and I'm not one to buy store bought hummus. I sent them a tweet asking for coupons and guess what I got? Not one, not two, but THREE containers of hummus: my favorite smoked jalapeno, and TWO NEW FLAVORS! Cracked pepper hummus is a delightful schmear with cracked peppery goodness that goes perfect with anything. The spice blend reminded me of the spices found in fried chicken breading--this would be the thing to eat if you were missing fried chicken. The black bean is a zippy spread that would tie together any southwest inspired sammich. I think I'm going to try making a pasta bake or burger with that one.

They also sent me a slick Lilly's Hummus T-shirt which I will wear with pride. PRIDE! Another fabulous reason to love Portland, OR.

Lilly's also sent me some kitchen magnets and a couple recipe cards and suggested the following ideas for hummus!

• Schmear for a bagel. Duh. We all know this.
• Use as a binder for a veggie burger- I never thought of this and will be experimenting in the kitchen with this soon!
• Salad dressing- I've seen bloggers talk about using this as a salad topping. You just thin with a vinaigrette or juice, toss into salad, and enjoy!
• Vegan Pasta sauce- Why haven't I thought of this? 
• French Fry Dip- of course I'll dip those taters in some Lilly's!

In addition to thanking Lilly's for this care package, I wanted to take a moment to thank my local food bank for having this hummus for me to try in the first place. You can find out more about Mother Hubbard's Cupboard by clicking on this link. Please consider donating. $1 buys 7# of food! So never underestimate what a difference a small donation can make. I donate what and when I can, because without this valuable resource, me and my family would be eating a lot of pb&j, which isn't a bad thing--it just gets boring for every meal. This food pantry helps a lot of people, and many patrons are those who are in the "in between" set--those who can't qualify for public assistance, but still cannot afford nutritious food after paying for basic expenses like housing and utilities. That's us! The other thing that is different about this food bank is that the patrons can shop and choose the food they take home rather than get set packages of food to use. There isn't a lot of paperwork to fill out and it is all based on the honor system. They offer cooking and gardening classes, something I've never heard of other food banks doing. I've written an article about me using the food bank and how it inspired me to start writing That Pain in the Ass Vegan.

Thanks so much to Lilly's and Mother Hubbard's Cupboard!

So Busy!

 What's up That PITA Vegan readers! Sorry for the hiatus. I just finished a mean streak of working overtime at my job and now am free to blog a little more. What do I do with 10 hour work days and two kids? Not much. I have been eating a ton of sandwiches, drinking bevvies, and trying out schmears! Shown above is my favorite indulgence, the Paul Reuben.

 I've been lucky to get some really sweet products from my local food bank. Products that I could not really afford at the grocery store because I'm broke! The first are these crazy drinks by Mamma Chia. I've tried grapefruit/ginger, cherry lime, and kiwi lime. My favorite is the cherry lime. These drinks are not for everyone, the texture can be a bit at first, but they really grew on me. They make a great middle-of-the-day pick me up! Packed with omegas, fiber, and even 4g of protein!

I've already gone on and on about the tonguegasmy pleasure of Lilly's roasted jalapeno hummus. But I've also recently tried the smoked tomato and basil, and kalamata olive flavors! I. Am. In. Love. IN LOVE! I normally don't buy store bought hummus, but I'd skip all the blender business to buy this anytime-(hint-hint, I'd love some coupons, Lilly!)

Product Review: Lilly's Hummus

 I normally don't buy store bought hummus, I'd rather make my own. I was given the opportunity to try some of this tongue-gasmy stuff by Lilly's Hummus. Holy cow! I made the best sammy ever: The Mean Greenie

The MG is Lilly's Roasted Jalapeno Hummus, arugula, avocado, and dill pickles on toasted Ciabatta bread. Not a bad gig for my mouth. The hummus was delightfully smoky and savory, the perfect fix if you're in the mood for a cheesy but not cheesy schmear!

Product Review: RAAW Juices

 These It Tastes RAAW juices were available to me while shopping at my local food bank. Both were really good! The raspberry lemongrass was amazeballs and made a great mocktail when mixed with ginger ale. It does have a perfume like aftertaste, but not so much to be gross--that's just how lemongrass is.

The passion fruit and wheatgrass blend was refreshing as well. I'm grateful to have such a cool food bank that carries treats like this so I can experience new products. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford such a luxury.

Speaking of afford, 'tis the season to donate to your local food bank. It doesn't matter how much you give, just give. A dollar goes a long way. For example, $1 buys about 7# of food where I shop. If you don't have a local food bank to donate your green energy to, consider giving to Mother Hubbard's Cupboard.

Raw Revolution Product Review

Appetite still isn't where I want it to be, but I'm eating. My friend Adam was kind enough to send me a care package that included a Raw Revolution Organic Live Food Bar. It was healthy tasting, not something I would eat on a regular basis, but it was a raw food bar and I honestly have yet to find one that tasted so good I would have a foodgasm. Needs more chocolate flavor. So keep trying RR. Your bar doesn't suck, it's just not that awesome. Then again, I'm not a raw foodie.

I've been living on lots of food-in-bar form meals: I'm a huge fan of Luna Bars, so long as I can find one without any non-vegan ingredients. I'm not opposed to eating food that is on shared equipment or contains the obligatory warning of "May have trace ingredients..." because that food product has been made on equipment that shares other equipment with non vegan eats. I mean, at  home I live with two vegetarians and an omnivore so technically, my food gets cooked on shared equipment. Nothing to freak out about.

What's your favorite food-in-bar form meal replacement? Any new ones I should try?

Summertime Can't be Beet

 Hey readers! I've been so busy diggin' it up in the garden, cookin' in the kitchen, and just loving this weather. It's official, I'm a convert to beets. Never thought I'd like them. Always loved the colors, but would scrunch up my nose at borscht. Then I had Biotta brand beet juice last year and felt differently. This year I wanted to grow some in my garden and this is the first harvest of candy striped beets. Aren't they just bee-you-tiful? I can't bring myself to cook them, so I'll eat them raw. Good thing, they taste like sugar. Seriously. Toss that in some vinegar, oil, with a little dill and salt, --BOOM! Salad time. Or you could do the whole sweet n' salty thing by making a nice vegan feta like spread and dip the beets in them.  I played scientist with some of the slices and am letting them soak in the leftover brine from a jar of banana peppers. What color will they turn? Tune in and see.

Did you know Stauffer's chocolate animal crackers are accidentally vegan? Yep. I like to melt chocolate and dip them in it. Then I stick 'em in the fridge and I have a portion controlled sweet treat to eat when it is hotter n' balls outside. I made this batch with a nice chili chocolate, which is a pleasant surprise after sticking a frozen piece of chocolate cookie in your mouth--wait for it, wait for it! Feel the burn. I love to torture myself.

Beans, Beans, the Magical Chip--The More You Eat...

I'm tellin' you, the blogging is paying off. Why? A representative from Beanfields asked me if I wanted to give their product line a try. I was curious. They did receive a swanky award from Veg News, but I could care less about that. I just wanted to expand my vegan snack chip horizons.

 I love rice and beans already, but in chip form? Of course. Most things in chip form are pretty dang good. So don't get too frustrated with other bloggers that get care packages from other companies, because if you keep putting yourself out there like I do, people will approach you. I used to get really down on myself about not being good or cool enough for the vegan blogging world. Once I relaxed, miracles started to happen. I know, I know--kind of schmaltzy stuff but oh so true.

So of course I wanted to try the chips. I was banking on a single bag of chips, but I got this motherload of a sample platter: Nacho Bean & Rice, Pico De Gallo, and Sea Salt and pepper. I love them all. Guess what? You don't need to dip these in anything. You can if you want to, but I'm fine with these as is. You read that right. The Queen of Stacking Stuff on Chips says to put that stuff away.

The sea salt and pepper ones could be ground up and used as a mean breading for baked tofu. My favorite was the pico de gallo. The nacho cheese ones had a slightly noochy buttery taste and I found to be much better than that one chip made by a major snack food company that I can eat in one sitting. You know, that company that rhymes with Neato Way. I don't think I'll be buying that corporations products any more, even if they are accidentally vegan. I'd much rather make with the snacky face with Benfields &Co. Not to mention these chips have more flavor and nutritional value. Next person who asks me where do I get my protein, I'll just say snack chips and watch them furrow their brow.

Thanks to Beanfields for the hook up of super flavorful snacks! You get The Official That Pain in the Ass Vegan approval, two turntables and a microphone.

Never underestimate the clearance section

While shopping at my local food co-op, I came across a whole mess of these chokolit bars for 69 cents a piece. The packaging was different, because it was a line made to donate extra money to endangered animals. Neato, huh? I grabbed several dark with coconut, and one with chili. I haven't tried the chili ones yet, because I want to make some Mexican hot chocolate cookies and thought that would be a nice touch added in the dough.

The story of Louis is SO inspiring. I wish I had the initiative to be a chocolatier at such a young age! Being a teen is hard enough, but to overcome adversity like he did just made my heart smile. Never underestimate the power of dreams and determination. I know, I sound like one of those posters.

He does have a non-vegan line, but all of the dark bars are made without dairy. YES, there is a "may contain nuts and milk", but I really think that is because it is produced on the same equipment as the other bars. So if you are super allergic to milk, or just can't ethically deal with trace amounts in your stuff, well there are other vegan chocolates. The chocolate is also made without palm oil, so you are making orangutans feel a little safer.

I'm a Quorn Fed Girl

All of my crazy blogging is paying off! About a month or so ago, a nice representative from Quorn sent me an e-mail. They wanted to know if I'd try a sample of their new vegan burgers. Huh? How did they hear about me? Mercy For Animals on Twitter. NOTE: there are images on their site of suffering animals, so you might not want to click on the link if you are not comfortable with seeing those images.

So tweeting really pays off! So does signing petitions and sending e-mails. About two weeks prior to the letter, I had signed a survey and sent Quorn a letter telling them that it was silly for them to not veganize their stuff. In my pregan days, that line was my absolute fave. So please, never underestimate the power of writing!

I will give any Foodbuzz Featured Publishers a warning: don't change the format of your blog without the appropriate FB tags. D'oh! Or should I say, "Dough!" I had the most hits I've ever had in four years and it didn't count because each US impression didn't have the ad on it. My error, seriously. Not that I made a million bucks doing that, but I do donate that money to a food bank, so I was a little sad. If you would like to donate to my local food bank, you can do so at Mother Hubbard's Cupboard website.
These don't really taste like any other commercial patty I've tried. They are soy free, so you soy allergy peeps can rejoice. I was slightly apprehensive when I stuck the burger in my toaster oven. A smell that reminded me of my elementary school cafeteria permeated my house. You know, that scent of mystery meat? Yeah.
Then I made it into a reuben, took a bite, and smiled. When the sauerkraut, vegan 1,000 island, avocado, and pumpernickel danced with the patty I was really pleased. The new Quorn burger would be good for grilling, is suitable for the toaster oven, and would probably really rock fried-(what doesn't taste better fried?) You probably shouldn't eat it plain, but that's the case with most vegan burgers commercial or homemade. I mean, how many people do you know eat a plain patty? Usually a small contingent of weirdos, that's who. No condiment people, hear me now: I narrow my eyes in your direction.

Since I can't find these locally, I don't know what they retail for in the supermarkets. I will say if I had to pick a commercial burger, I would lean towards this one. Now--if they'd just get on it about their chick'n line....

So, if you'd like to win a coupon for a FREE box of these, send me a comment on this entry about a popular vegetarian item on the market that can be made vegan. Will you contact that company and rattle their cage? You totally should. I'll pick an entry on St. Patty's day-(get it, patty?) and snail mail you the coupon.

Thanks!

All Hail Justin's Nut Butter

Did you ever think you'd be addicted to a blog written by Beavis and Butthead? I giggle every time I think about Justin's nuts and his butter, and cannot stop my mind from producing a bunch of dirty jokes. I also cry a little because it is so incredibly expensive. I don't care how tasty one's nut butter is, I can't spend justify spending that much on something like that.

Well, Mr. J. picked some up on sale for $3 less than regular price and surprised me with it. Wow! After having some on a peanut butter pretzel, I remembered why it is nice to pamper oneself with luxury items. How often do we waste our money on stuff we think will work but doesn't? C'mon, I know you have a thighmaster collecting dust in your basement, and a DIY Botox kit by Ronco hidden in your garage. You bought those things thinking they would be life altering. Three installments of $39.95 and you'll be so much better than you already are. Really?

How often do we invest in ourselves by getting something we love? For me, not often enough because I just feel like it's wasteful or something. Would we hesitate to do this for someone we love? Of course not. I get caught up in being ashamed of being working class and justify not getting myself nice stuff because I should be taking care of other things. Really? Is spending the full price of $9.99 gonna break me if I do it a couple times of year? Nope.

And Justin doesn't put a bunch of trans fats and sugar in his nutty butter either. I mean, his products with honey aren't vegan, but I don't buy those. It's not like I'm buying that other brand that rhymes with rubella that has a bunch of milk fat in it. So, do something nice for yourself and splurge a little. It's honestly okay. You're worth it.

Product Review: Turtle Island Tempeh

While I will happily make my own vegan lunch meat, I'll never be so vegan that I make my own tofu or tempeh. Just not going to do it. Not that ambitious. I have kids to parent, and crappy t.v. to watch.

Turtle Mountain Foods seasoned tempeh is awesome because there is absolutely no guess work on getting the marinade just right. Unlike other companies that make products with a flavor and fail, TM does it flawlessly. I braised mine in a non-stick skillet and made spring rolls with the tempeh, avocado, celery, and carrot. When I paired that with some coconut curry soup, I had a really nice meal to share with the Mr. Verdict? Hands down, two turntables and a microphone.

So, hey Turtle Mountain Foods: my birthday is on the 13th and you should send me some coupons. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

OYMST Day #25: 6 Days and counting

Man-oh-man, I'm so looking forward to ending this month. I'm going to make some S'molve Pie and/or cookies and pass out for a few days. I kid, really Operation Yank My Sweet Tooth has brought me closer to myself, namely my insatiable need to consume more sweets than vegetables, which isn't the ideal path for a vegan.

Some of the cravings have subsided. I have noticed that when I eat something even mildly sweetened, it is a little too much for me. I've come to appreciate dates on a whole new level. Dried figs are my new buddies. I cherish the flavor of a fresh orange or apple slice. This is important because as much as I declare myself a hard-core-vegan-foodie, there is something to be said about mindlessly noshing away. I personally found myself not appreciating the flavors of sweets so much as I thought I had to have them, like a smoker has to have a cigarette. For me, I want to avoid that.

What will happen post-project? I'll still eat sweets, but I'll look for new takes on old favorites. My tried and true loves will be eaten less often so I can really appreciate their flavors. I'll make more stuff with fruit.

Before the project, a fellow PPKer sent me this incredible care package loaded with chocolate. One of the gems in this package was made by The Tea Room (?) and was the best chocolate I've ever tasted with the exception of Enjoy Life's Boom-Choco-Boom dark bar. The chocolate fusion bar was super dark with fruity tones and a distinctive coffee flavor. I melted it and used it to coat cookies--divine!

Have you ever taken a break from something you enjoy because you were losing your respect for it? Tell me about it.

OYMST Day #23: What's up, buttercup?

Back in August, I went to Vida Vegan Con in Portland, OR. You should already know about this because I can't shut up about it. If you're reading That PITA Vegan for the first time, you can read all about it here, here, or here. Yeah, I know I shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition. NOTE: they're thinking about moving it on over to Chicago for the 2013 conference. I have my fingers, toes, earlobes, and eyes crossed they do it. That means I could just drive up and go since Chitown is just 4 hours away!

Anyway, while at the conference, I had the chance to sample Earth Balance's Organic Coconut Spread on a small piece of bread. I was skeptical and expected it to be really sweet and smack of--well, coconuts. I was surprised. It truly is the perfect blend of margarine and coconuts. The flavor is very subtle and I was totally jazzed to get a free coupon for a tub when I returned home.

Until I learned that there wasn't any to be found at my local food co-op, Kroger, et al. Sad face. Major sad face.

So I procrastinated writing Earth Balance about this quagmire, and finally got around to it. I made a shameless plea to have them send me standard EB coupons since my local grocers carried that style but not the coconut spread. I received an email from the gnawdorable representative Adriane and she said they would SEND ME THE COCONUT SPREAD via FedEx with a little freezer package to ensure freshness.

Whuuuuuuuuuuut? Get outta here. Again, I ended the sentence with a preposition. Would you care about grammar if you knew you were getting a tub of this stuff? Pssst, your answer is "Hell no, Jen."

Since I'm at the tail end of Operation Yank My Sweet Tooth, I haven't used this for baking cookies, but I have used it on waffles and in my oatmeal. You could spread it on Styrofoam and I'd happily eat it. It's really that good.

For those of you who refrain or have reduced your use of tropical oils because of what commercial farming does to the habitats of orangutans and other wild life, fear not: the peeps at EB are committed to sustainably harvesting the glorious coconut oil without bugging our ape friends, tiger buddies, and elephant comrades. Pretty cool, huh?

A big fat coconutty thanks to Adriane and EB for the hook up of delicious Earth Balance Organic Coconut Spread!

OYMST Day #13: How many days do I have left?

I'm such a dumb ass. WHY did I think this was a good idea? (((((insert the biggest nasal whine here)))) WHY????? I should have just called Operation Yank My Sweet Tooth Operation Jen Is Crazy For Not Eating Sweets for 31 Days instead. When it comes to stupid, I like to do it right.

I picked these up at the food bank and this is a nice lil' time machine--snack sized gelatin like things made with real fruit and without real hooves. I was amazed that I could pronounce and knew exactly what all 7 ingredients were! Yay! Made by Zensoy, these come in strawberry or orange and save you time hanging out at the stove with juice and that perfect mixture of agar-agar. Seriously, I had my doubts--but there I was, eatin' vegan J-E-L-L-O, saying to myself, "Hell, this ain't half bad!" I would imagine these would be really comforting if I were sick. Did anyone else have a momma that made them eat that when ill? I recall being 8 years old and recuperating from a tonsillectomy eating my weight in that stuff.

Like most vegan convenience foods, this one does come with a price: $3.49 for a 4 pack. Really? Yup. You'll have to decide if you'd rather spend this amount for saving time, or spend that amount for a packet of agar-agar at your local East Asian market, or much much more for the vegan gelatin at a health food store. If you ask me, I'm on the side of saving some time every now and then. Especially if it means I play some Katamari instead of eating cookies.

OYMST Day #11: It's High Time I Had a Product Review

Happy Humpday. It's been a while since I've written a product review, and most of the ones I do are anywhere from okay to stellar. Today my friends, is the big day where I rip a product a new @$$HO!E and I refuse to apologize for it.


This is one of Morningstar Farms frozen "meals." First of all, we bought this on closeout. That was red flag #1. To my credit, I've done this a zillion times and haven't had a dud, until now. While this meal is completely vegan, it was so awful that I pouted while eating it. I'm pretty sure Sara McLaughlan was singing in the background while I wept about my $2.50 that can never be recovered. I wanted to ceremoniously set it ablaze, but I didn't bring anything else to eat that day, so it was me and this "entree."

The chik'n was freezer burnt. The noodles aren't Asian style at all, it's just spaghetti. WHY do companies insist on dubbing this "Asian?" I wonder if they know that India, Russia, and Saudi Arabia are all in Asia. You hear that Morningstar Farms? That's the wailing of the entire country of China telling you that you guys have it wrong. The sauce is (insert your favorite expletive here) bland. Bland as a rubber band. Where were the veggies? You tell me. There were a couple tablespoons in there at most. Someone call me a whaaaaambulance. MSF, you have been chopped.

Boy, I'll be happy when I can go back to eating cake for lunch again.

OYMST Day #2: Sometimes You Feel Butternut, Sometimes You Don't

Butternut Coconut Rice from Appetite for Reduction paired with some steamed broccoli and West Soy Brand Asian Teriyaki Tofu made for a really nice lunch today. Question: why call it "Asian Teriyaki?" Perhaps Westoy's Product Development also subs as the Department of Redundancy Department. I used the pink rice I received in my swag bag from Vida Vegan Con. I honestly never knew rice could be so beautiful!

I'm finding making veggies that are sweet when roasted helps with the ol' sweet tooth. I was more upset with the tofu than anything else. C'mon tofu factory, if you're gonna make something that is labeled Teriyaki, please for the love of all things soy, make it taste like that. All Westsoy seems to taste the same to me. I shouldn't sound so ungrateful, it is just one of the many things that I get from my local food bank. In fact, The tofu, broccoli, and butternut squash came from The Hub.

Thanks for all of the encouraging comments! I'm seriously thinking about that pumpkin dip. Onward and upward Operation Yank My Sweet Tooth!

Happy Humpday! Praises for Alternative Baking Company

Ever had a care package swap? No? You don't know what you're missing. This is just one of about a dozen shots of my tricked out vegan care package from Petunia of the Post Punk Kitchen Forum. Among the oodles of chocolate goodies was this giant Double Chocolate Chip Decadence cookie from the Alternative Baking Company.

I never buy their cookies because I'm a cheapskate, too busy making my own, and I honestly wasn't sure if their cookies were good. I'm generally leery of prepackaged vegan cookies because I suffer from that "But What If It Isn't As Good As It Looks?" syndrome.

Well, I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, and wrong. And so, so happy to be wrong.

That cookie was spectacular. Alternative Baking Company, please hire me as your company taster. I will happily nom-nom-nom all day long and preach the gospel of your products. And you new vegans, vegans-to-be, or curious folk should do a care package swap once just to see what an awesome experience it is. So much love goes into it and it is super fun to shop for someone and test yourself on buying products that are vegan. You might make a BFF and BCFF (Best Cookie Friend Forever)!

MOFO Day #17 True Grub: Sheriff Bellefleur's Beignets

It wouldn't be right if I made an entry dedicated to Chris Bauer's character Sheriff Andy Bellefleur without referencing the love affair with cops and doughnuts.

Cops like doughnuts and coffee. It's true. While some prefer ones filled with custard or jelly, Andy enjoys his spiked little V. Since this is a True Blood themed MOFO, I couldn't go the entire month without making beignets. So I did.

Andy is also a fan of Peet's Coffee. FoodBuzz's Tastemaker Program sent me a care package with two different kinds of Peet's and I chose to pair the Cafe Domingo with Sookie's Sticky Buns, then paired the lil' fritters with Cafe Solano. This was a match made in heaven. The robust flavor of Solano was just the thing with the deep fried sweet goodness of the beignets. Seriously, my house smelled like a doughnut shop and for an elastic second I pretended that I wasn't me, but the owner of the Bon Temps Bakery. Thanks to FoodBuzz and Peet's Coffee for making this experience so complete.

Have I mentioned I've never had or made these babies before?

I glossed over many recipes on teh interwebs, and all of them were basically the same: flour, fat, evaporated milk, eggs, yeast, and deep fried. I figured I couldn't possibly fuck this one up because it involved frying.

I was correct. Check out this recipe I veganized and have a little Cafe Du Monde at home. To fill these with your V spiked custard, take one 6 oz. container of vanilla vegan yogurt and add a little strawberry or raspberry jam to it. You can use a piping bag with an extra fine tip, but I got all punk rock and used my kids wide mouthed plastic syringe. Hardcore, right?


Sheriff Bellefleur's Beignets

*Patience pants: you WILL need to refrigerate this dough overnight. So don't make these in the morning thinking you'll surprise everyone with fresh doughnuts. That ain't gonna happen. This recipe makes a shit ton, so you can half the recipe if you so desire, but I just threw the leftover dough in the freezer. I'm such a scientist.

• 2 1/4 t. yeast
• 1 1/2 c. warm water
• 1/2 c. sugar
• 1 t. salt
• 2 T ground flax seeds
• one 6oz. container of vanilla or plain vegan yogurt-room temperature or warm
• 1/4 c. vegan liquid coffee creamer-room temperature or warm
• 7 c. AP flour
• 1/4 c. spectrum shortening
• powdered sugar for dusting fresh doughnuts
• oil for frying

Get a mixer or a food processor with a dough hook to mix this. Combine your yeast, sugar, and water--set aside. You want to see it foam so you know the yeast is good. Measure out your flour, salt, flax seeds, and put this in the food processor/mixer. Add your water/sugar/yeast mixture, then the yogurt, then the creamer, and add tablespoons of the shortening last. The dough will be SUPER sticky, so don't freak out like Sheriff without his V. Using a rubber spatula scrape out the dough and put in a greased bowl. Cover it and put in the fridge overnight.

In the morning, dust a clean counter space with extra flour and roll out your dough in small batches. Get your Fry Daddy or stock pot ready for frying by filling it with several inches of oil. If you're gonna go big and fry the whole recipe, heat an oven up to 200 degrees so you can put finished batches in the oven to keep warm.

Get the dough about 1/8 inch thick and cut into little squares with a pizza cutter. Once the oil has heated throw a few squares into the heated oil and watch 'em float. This is really cool. Monitor closely, they'll puff up quite a bit, and turn them over to fry on the other side. Once a golden brown, take the finished beignets out to drain on paper towels. Immediately sprinkle with the powdered sugar so it sticks to the hot doughnuts.

Play some zydeco and enjoy these with coffee with cream. I served these to my family and friends and all were really impressed. They could hardly believe they were vegan. I ended up being the only one that liked the custard filled ones, so don't feel like you have to fill these, they are fine plain.