Thursday, October 27, 2011

MOFO Day #27 True Grub: Covenly Tacos


Benefits of being a witch:
  • Badass Spells
  • Medium powers
  • Best friends with Guys who listen to Stevie Nicks
  • Access to lots of herbs
  • Glowing eyes
  • Lots of holidays to celebrate

Downside of being a witch:
  • Frumpy clothes
  • It sucks being on a broomstick in the rain
  • What if you're not into chanting?
  • That whole Goddess thing
  • Unfaithful followers
  • Ingredients that are probably not vegan
When I was little, I wanted to be a witch in the worst way. I wanted to have powers that made my childhood bullies cry like little bitches, turned people into toads, and did all my homework. I recall emptying my mother's spice cabinet and mixing all of her extracts and herbs, then mushing it with a banana and making my brother drink it. He ended up barfing everywhere and I couldn't watch television for a week. TELEVISION!

Lesson? Being a solo practitioner is a dangerous thing. It is better to work in a group. When these ingredients stand alone, they're kind of lame. When hangin' together in a recipe coven, the flavors do something that is a little crafty.

I bring you, Covenly Tacos


A soft tortilla filled with breaded seasoned eggplant, a touch of daiya, green with envy salsamole, and a little beannaise.
Check it out y'all.

These go really well with Jessica's Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri.

To make the tacos you'll need:

soft tortillas
daiya cheese
1 medium eggplant


Marnie's Eggplant Fries

Breading Mixture
3/4 c. corn meal
3/4 c. oat flour
1 heaping T of Ms. Dash chipotle blend
1 t. paprika
1 t. onion powder
1 t. salt
1/2 t. garlic powder
mix together in a bowl

set aside in a shallow dish:
1 cup plain unsweetened soy milk
2 cap full of AC vinegar
wait a minute or so and whisk

Wash, peel, and slice your eggplant into steak fries. With one hand dip the pieces in your buttermilk, then carefully roll them in the breading mixture with the other hand. Lay on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 12 minutes on one side, and 15 on the other. You want them to be tender and a little crispy on the outside. If you wanna go big, deep fry them, but I was trying to avoid it. I just can't eat fried shit every day.

Antonia has gone bananas salsamole
1 c. chopped combo of green tomatoes & tomatillos
1 peeled kiwi
1 small onion chopped
3 banana peppers, finely chopped
juice of 1 lime
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 c. cilantro
2 t chopped jalapenos (optional)
pinch of salt
1 c. avocado

Puree the green stuff with the garlic, then add your onion, peppers, lime, cilantro, jalapenos, and salt. This will taste weird on its own, but trust me people it makes the taco work.

Assembling the tacos:

Grill your tortilla with a little of the daiya on top until melty. Add your cooked eggplant, a spoonful or two of the salsamole, and add a teaspoon of beannaise. Feel free to eat while sitting in a circle plotting to bring down the vampire race.

2 comments:

Allysia said...

Ha ha, I wanted to be a witch when I was a kid too, though I was more interested in communicating with spirits than punishing jerk children! I never thought about the non-vegan aspect of witchiness, but you're right - it's all 'eye of newt' and stuff.

choirqueer said...

Oh but I like: frumpy clothes. riding my broomstick in the rain. chanting. the whole Goddess thing.

I must be a witch!

Also, my first official imaginary friend was a witch named Eeteena. She was the "Don't sit in that chair! Eeteena is sitting there! You can't squoosh Eeteena!" kind of imaginary friend. She was AWESOME.