MOFO Day #2 True Grub: Sam's Shapeshifter Ham

This second recipe is a must for True Grub: Sam's Shapeshifter Ham. I won't lie--texture wise it ain't ham. I think it is because I used a crock pot to cook it instead of a roasting pan in the oven, and I was warned by my PPK vegan sisters to not do that. I'm such a rebel. I did that for a reason, though. I wanted to make a wheat meat that could be used for multiple dishes. You'll want to use the leftover stock and floaty bits for another True Grub recipe or freeze as a soup base if you please. Hence the name of shape shifter.

Pigs everywhere thank you for letting them live out their dream of being a Jamaican bobsled team.

The way to serve this stuff up right is to slice as thin as you can and pan fry it a little until it's crispy. The flavor reminds me of a nice honey baked ham loafy thing my mom would buy at the supermarket. I was raised on a lot of loafy type meats. Loaf. Heh-heh.

This recipe is a mash up, a hybrid of sorts utilizing Bryanna Clark Grogan's* ham recipe and the recipe from Taymer Mason's* Carribean Vegan. I added some PITA Vegan flair, but I'll give all the credit to them for the inspiration. Thanks, ladies! I call this Shape Shifter Ham because a) ham rhymes with Sam b) this is super versatile and can be used in multiple dishes, just like Sam can be a super hot owner of a bar, a drunken asshole, a collie, a horse, or a hawk.

*I received permission from Bryanna to talk about her recipe and list ingredients from it. As of today, I have not heard from Taymer, but have credited both authors and highly suggest you support them by buying their books.

Sam's Shape Shifter Ham
A recipe mash up of Bryanna Clark Grogan, Taymer Mason, plus some PITA Vegan love!

Dry Ingredients:

• 1.5 c. vital wheat gluten
• 1/2 c. soy flour
• 2 t. onion powder
• 1 t. garlic powder
• 1/4 t. allspice
• 1/4 t. white pepper
• 1/4 t. ground cloves
• a few turns of fresh black pepper
• 1 T instant tapioca

Wet Ingredients:

• 3T soy, tamari, or Bragg's
• 2T pure maple syrup or agave
• 1/2 c. favorite bacon bitz plus 1 c. hot water, set aside
• 2T bbq sauce
• 3/4 t liquid smoke
• 1T sesame oil
• 1c. water

Simmering Broth:

• 2c. veg broth, drained soy curl water, or used seitan stock
• 1c. super strong coffee-(here's where day old joe can work in your favor)
  

Mix your wet with dry in a food processor, except for the blended bacon bitz. Add the bacon bitz slurry last. Don't freak out: it WILL look like a giant wad of bubble gum. Let the magic happen! Under the power of the full moon, set that giant spongy orb in a crock pot with the broth and coffee. Set to high and check on it in about an hour. Flip it over in the broth carefully, but don't have a melt down if it falls apart a little--that's the beauty of being a shifter. Cook for another hour on high, flip again, and simmer on low for another hour. Did you know shifting could be so time consuming? It happens so fast on the show. Stupid television.

After the ham has cooked, very carefully extract the meaty thing from the crock pot and slice. It will be fluffy and loose, that's fine--the oven will dry and toughen it up. Bake on a greased cookie sheet at 350, flipping every 10 minutes or so until it has dried. You can use immediately in other True Grub recipes, or pan fry a little for a nice hot ham n' cheez sammie. If you're not going to use it immediately, that's cool-just put it in a container and stick it in the fridge. Use within a few days, or stick in the freezer. Take all that awesome broth and floaty bits and put in a container for later use: gravy, soup, or another batch of ham.