In 2012 the zombie apocalypse does in fact happen. The Mayans were right! After numerous warnings to the public about the consumption of fast food and all things meat, a virus that only lives in the cellular structure of animal flesh and their byproducts infects the masses with an epic disease that drives everyone insane with brain munching rage. Pray tell, are there any survivors?
Fear not, there are some who have dodged the bullet: a group of ballsy vegans who meet together outside of Atlanta and form a crazy assed army. Guess what? They took me in and now I have a new family. This month, we will provide you with some of our favorite recipes that will leave you satisfied, and ready to kick the ass of many a walker. I realize killing anything goes against the ethic of the gentle herbivore, but there comes a time where one must decide to eat or be eaten. What do you want to do? I don't know about you, but I just hate rotting flesh and smelling like Limburger. Everything changes when the undead are shuffling amok. So gimme a gun already.
So, we're all getting tired of killing zombies and feeling a little on the dead side. I woke up this morning and Daryl told me he ain't doin' shit until he's had his coffee. Fuck those walkers. Sigh. I love it when he talks like that. One day, I'll marry him and we'll have the most adorable Jewish-vegan-atheist-white supremacists ever. He raids a Stuckey's along the highway and comes up with this delightful concoction: the iced camp coffee. Now technically, this isn't coffee made at camp, it's just the leftover crap from the night before, or god knows for how long. Anyone who knows anything understands the java brew of gas stations tastes a lot like something that has been boiled in a dirty pan back at camp 'Pocky.
Day old coffee
1/2 c. non dairy milk
1/8 c. chocolate syrup
Combine ingredients in a mason jar, and shake furiously. Store in between some rocks in a cold stream, or use a refrigerator if you have access to one.
After drink has sufficiently chilled, get yourself some. With a magician's flourish, you will look like this. Me-yow.