Sizzle pie and making a smoothie that doesn't suck: VVC report #2

Aver's is damned lucky that Sizzle Pie is located in PDX and a safe distance from Btown. If it were any different, I would jump my regular pizza ship and the home of the cream n' crimson would be in trouble. SP provided the pizza at the 2011 Vida Vegan Conference Galarama to benefit Woodstock Farm Sanctuary. Pictured above with my ancient $12 cyclops camera is a slice of what I think is supposed to be a taco or burrito pie. Holy-guacamole-collapse-and-fold-me that was really good pizza. We're talkin' fresh tomatoes, black olives, some cheddar daiya, taco seasoned soy meat, sour cream, onions, and my buddy Mr. Hal Appenyo. Nice little fiesta for my tongue. That is a regular sized paper plate, BTW. Notice how the slice hangs over the edges daring you to eat it. This gave me the fuel to furiously dance to the musical stylings of Prince, Bobby Brown, and Peaches for the rest of the night.

As everyone so often yelps, Portland is awesome for vegans, and just about every menu in town has something for us wacky herbivores. Don't worry omnis--there's plenty for you to eat, but why would you want to eat something called the "Pig Destroyer" when you can have something called "Apocalypse Dudes?" I can hear Patton Oswald yellin' "Where my pockies at?" as he is turned into a vegan with one bite.

The Giant Purple People Feeder: 2 frozen bananas, 1 3/4 c. POM juice, and 1/2 cups of finely chopped beets. Blend the shit out of it. That's it. No secrets. No joke. Makes 2 large smoothies.

Once I returned from my weekend feast-for-all, I needed to get back to eating food that wasn't fried. I accomplished this by making a smoothie. I typically cringe when I see smoothie recipes because all they are are fruit/veggies/juice/soy milk in varying increments to cleanse out the ol' basement, if you know what I mean. How complicated is it to get the combination just right? Believe it or not, it is incredibly easy to screw up a smoothie. I've been there, done that, and cried over wasting food. Please refer to my tips on making the perfect smoothie so you don't end up with a cup of compost.

• No ice. NO ICE! Not ever. Do you hear me? Use frozen fruit chunks or frozen juice cubes instead. This is where our buddy the overripe banana comes in. Peel it. Chop it. Freeze it. Your smoothies will never be the same. If you see a recipe with ice in it, replace it with ice cubes made with apple sauce or something.
• I see you foregoing the ice and picking up the water. Nooooooo! Use juice, non dairy milk, non-dairy yogurt, or a combo of all.
  
• When using greens in smoothies, make sure the amount doesn't exceed a cup and that it is finely chopped. Not hunks, but finely chopped into little bits. If you don't, it will mess up your blender blade and you'll end up with hunks of greens in your smoothie. If that happens, you just have salad soup on your hands, which is kind of gross.
• On that note--stop, unplug, scrape down the sides, lid back on, and puree some more. Why unplug? Do you even have to ask me that question?
• Think outside of the box and throw some veggies in the smoothie. Beets will bring an awesome saturated pink to a smoothie and carrot juice will amp up the orange. Tomatoes are technically a fruit and have great vitamins as well. You don't need much of either, half a cup of either veggie-(finely chopped) will do.
• My friend Bonnie describes adding ground flax seeds as "roto rooter for the body."

What is your favorite smoothie combination?