Wednesday, June 1, 2011


if you look up wuuut in the urban dictionary, the definition doesn't even make sense. if i had any say in the matter, i'd make sure that the spelling included the letter h and twice as many u's because to me, whuuuuuut is sheer unfiltered disbelief drug out for about thirty seconds. say it: whuuuuuut?

whuuuuuut if i told y'all that i had the secret to really good tofu bacon? you'd probably say, "whuuuuuut?" yep.

press the tofu. no, i mean PRESS the hell out of it. press it until it is almost dry. marinade it in something really really smoky, salty, a bit sweet, and spicy. liquid smoke, sesame oil, ketchup, organic brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, louisiana hot sauce, bragg's. let it bathe in the glory.

once your tofu has been soakin' up that mixture, fry the heck out of it. save any residual marinade. fry the tofu real good n' crispy. i guess if i were putting the crispiness level in the urban dictionary, i'd say make sure it is crispaay, or hellacrispaay.

don't eat it. stick it in the fridge. say whuuuuuut?
you heard me, put it in fridge.

now sleep have dreams of noshing on cinnamon rolls at pattycake bakery with your BFF or something. dream of a vegan world where it rains nooch and morrissey is your paperboy.
okay, now wake up.

fry the bacon AGAIN. THIS IS THE KEY! make sure you fry it really crispy. of course isn't gonna be healthy, it's bacon. even though no pigs were harmed in the process, doesn't mean you dodge those glorious fat bits of flavor.

you're in love. absolutely, positively, and passionately in love with this bacon method. you realize that you probably shouldn't eat fried stuff more than once or twice a week, but you never think of vegan bacon the same way again, do you?

i had mine on salad, it was divine.

a great haul from my garden: baby turnip greens, swiss chard, baby kale, some mesclun mix, and some red peppers from the store. i covered it all with a vinaigrette made with balsamic, olive oil, and ms. dash's carribean seasoning.

so let's set the bacon aside and talk another whuuuuuut moment: in addition to being a human, being a mom, being a spouse, being a part-time garden center extraordinaire, getting our house ready for market, getting an offer on said house, then shopping for new home that my family can actually live in, i have been blogging.

whuuuuuut? get outta here! i've still been cooking, gardening, and entering contests. the hard work paid off........

I'M GOING TO VIDA VEGAN CON! I'm so excited I'm actually going to use appropriate capitalization in this paragraph. Wooooooooohoooooooooo! I can't friggin' believe it. I feel like Vince Vaughn in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, right when he wins the championship for his team at Average Joe's.

there's so much to do and so little time to do it all. i don't know where to begin, but to give a big nutritional yeasty thanks to ALL OF YOU readers, my amazingly supportive spouse who encouraged me to keep going when i wanted to give up, to marti at tofu mom for the extra nudge i needed, and michele at vegtastic voyage. my eyes are getting all misty n' shit.
soooo, expand your vocabulary, make some tofu bacon, never give up on your dreams, and for the love of vegan blogging conferences, stay vegan!


Get Skinny, Go Vegan. said...

Vida Vegan sounds FUN!!

VegSpinz said...

whu-whuuuut? Haha! Love it!

Bianca said...

I AM SO EXCITED YOUR COMING TO VCC!!!! I mean that ... in all caps! Yea! I really wanted you to win that singin' contest so I could meet you, but looks like you found a way!! And this tofu bacon sounds crazy awesome. I will try!!!