Vegan MOFO Day #25: The Governor's Stir Fry

 The Governor wants everyone to eat more vegetables. He'll make it law. Someone should probably tell him he's not really the governor anymore now that the 'pocalypse is hizzere. This all reminds me I have to vote pretty soon, but I digress.

 The people agree that veggies are important, and vital in making one healthy enough to dodge a walker. He told everyone he marinated some tofu in teryaki sauce/sesame oil and broiled the crap out of it. SIDE NOTE: spell check just suggested "Trekkie" for teryaki. Guffaw. Then he served those nomable planks of soy over some cooked rice mixed with steamed veggies. "If you mix the veggies with the rice, you won't eat too many carbs." Says Mr. G. Doesn't he know carbs are good in zombieland? Fad diets are all out the window. The motto these days is eat or be eaten.

Hoosier Scramble

What is under that pile of gravy? While the photo doesn't look appetizing-(hey, gravy shots rarely do), the contents are by golly: this is my take on the Village Deli's Hoosier Scramble. Their very un vegan version is toast smothered in scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage gravy, and cheese.

My version is toast with tofu scramble, hash browns, miso gravy, and topped with daiya. I served some fresh tomato slices along side this treat and ate the whole damn thing. Nice to have my appetite back.

Totally Egglessent, Get It?

Tofu scramble is a vegan right of passage. So is this tofu egg salad. And everyone and their vegan brother has their own awesome recipe, but I'm partial to my own. This was a favorite among my students when I taught a compassionate eating class at church. If you're feeling adventurous, give this one a try. I think this is best on toasted rye bread with fresh tomato slices.


You'll need:

• 1 pkg super firm tofu-(NOT IN THE ASEPTIC PACKAGE!) pressed and set aside.
• 1/4 c. vegan mayo
• 1/4 c. vegan sour cream
• 1/3 c. nutritional yeast
• 1/8 c. prepared mustard
• 1T  prepared horseradish-(look for veganness! some have egg yolks in them, blech.)
• 1T fresh chives or 1/2T dried
• 1/4 c. fresh parsley
• 1T fresh chopped dill-- FRESH!
• bragg's liquid aminos to taste
• black pepper to taste
• 2t onion powder
• 1/2T ms. dash table blend
• 1t garlic powder
• 2t celery flakes or 1/4 c. chopped celery

Squish your tofu by hand and mix all other ingredients in with a spoon. Let sit in the fridge for at least an hour or so to let the flavors meld.  Feel free to add more vegan mayo if  you want, but the herbs do a good job of amping the flavor of everything else.

Might as Well Face It, I'm Addicted to Owls...

 I am an Owlery junkie. It's official. They've been re-opened at their new downtown location for slightly less than a month now and I've been there 3 times. This pic is from my recent unofficial Indiana Post Punk Kitchen meet-up. I'm going to use everyone's user names on the forum, so please don't think these people have really weird names. Featured above is Abstract Nonsense's brunch plate of scramble, hashbrowns, TVP sausage, toast, and some fresh pineapple. That was my first time meeting him and I think he's really neat, and oh-so-nerdy in such an adorable way.

 Here's my jaw breaker: farm bread housing tofu scramble, tofu bacon, tvp sausage, lettuce, daiya cheese, tomato, and veganaise. Yep, I ate the whole thing. THE WHOLE THING!

 Same thing, on a biscuit. Skinny Daisy likes biscuits.

 Quark is a biscuit and gravy gal. She said this was really good: biscuits, mushroom gravy, and TVP sausage with a side of home fries to the right.

 

Vegans are so SEXY! Left to right, Flounder, Sarahclaire, Skinny Daisy, me, and Abstract Nonsense

 

Now I have at least four or five new crushes. Quark is positively gorgeous!

You can find out more about The Owlery right hizzere.

Dinner in a jiffy

One of the statements made in my first Compassionate Eating class is that veganism seemed impossible. I heard the word inconvenient a time or two as well. I just finished week 4 with my students and we talked about "Meet Your Meat."

In Colleen Patrick Goudreau's 30 Day Vegan Challenge she discusses taking back the words meat and milk. After all, vegans don't eat fake food--we eat very real food that is made directly from plants. I challenge you to get the following words OUT of your vocabulary: faux, pseudo, mock, et al. As a vegan, I don't feel I'm mocking anything. I'm embracing a life based on the conscious decision to not consume animals or animal byproducts. So call it fried tofu, bean burgers, and seitan nuggets.

I showed them that 1/4c. vital wheat gluten-(the main ingredient in seitan) has 23g of protein! So when someone asks me, "But where do you get your protein from?" I can first a) point out they ended a sentence with a preposition-(((snicker, I kid))), and b) that I get it from (((demonic voice))) SEITAN! The reverend thought this was funny.

Let's get back to inconvenience. You really need to evaluate what is more convenient, good health and well being or shoveling your face with stuff from a drive-thru? Let's face it, most of us eat this way more than we should. And what could be more inconvenient than food poisoning from tainted meat? I personally think heart attacks are inconvenient. Change perspectives.

The dish featured above is from the Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook: the Cheezy Broccoli n' Rice Casserole. This is such a cinch to throw together, even faster if you cook the rice beforehand in a rice cooker. It's creamy, comforting, cheap, and--oops! No broccoli. I subbed with my favorite, kale. Served it with a potato because I lovey-love-love starch like Ron Burgundy loves scotch.

OYMST Day #2: Sometimes You Feel Butternut, Sometimes You Don't

Butternut Coconut Rice from Appetite for Reduction paired with some steamed broccoli and West Soy Brand Asian Teriyaki Tofu made for a really nice lunch today. Question: why call it "Asian Teriyaki?" Perhaps Westoy's Product Development also subs as the Department of Redundancy Department. I used the pink rice I received in my swag bag from Vida Vegan Con. I honestly never knew rice could be so beautiful!

I'm finding making veggies that are sweet when roasted helps with the ol' sweet tooth. I was more upset with the tofu than anything else. C'mon tofu factory, if you're gonna make something that is labeled Teriyaki, please for the love of all things soy, make it taste like that. All Westsoy seems to taste the same to me. I shouldn't sound so ungrateful, it is just one of the many things that I get from my local food bank. In fact, The tofu, broccoli, and butternut squash came from The Hub.

Thanks for all of the encouraging comments! I'm seriously thinking about that pumpkin dip. Onward and upward Operation Yank My Sweet Tooth!

I Just Couldn't Do It!

As much as I thought I could, I just couldn't blog about cookies for 20 consecutive days. I'm just too busy eating other things. Like seitan reubens from The Owlery. They make their french fries from real live potatoes.
Mr. J. digs the tofu chicken fingers. They are dee-lish, although the name sounds funny. Chickens don't have fingers made of tofu! And I've never seen a block of tofu with fingers, let alone fingers shaped like chickens. Tee-hee.
Look at that one, sliding off the plate and into your mouth!

For those of you who haven't heard me sing high praises for this place, The Owlery is an amazing vegetarian restaurant where all dishes are vegan by default, and if you want something with dairy you have to request it. If you're a gluten free gobbler, they can accommodate you. My favorite sandwich is the BALT (Bacon Avocado Lettuce and Tomato). They double fry the tofu making it the best vegan bacon I've ever had in my life.

They've been doing such awesome business they are relocating downtown! So if you're in town during the holidays wanting to nosh on a Philly Cheeseseitan, you'll have to wait until 2012. It's so worth it!

Wiping The Egg From Your Face

There are many people who are comfortable giving up or eliminating meat from their diet, but they still cling to eggs for a few reasons: a) they enjoy the taste, b) they don't know of a way to veganize it, and 3) they are completely unaware of what happens in the poultry industry.

I'm not here to preach to you about what happens. You can google that stuff yourself. It's pretty awful. I'm not the kind of person who needs to read and see the snuff footage.

I AM the kind of person that is committed to taking something I once cherished and finding a way to make it animal product free. See that pic up there? It's eggless salad. Super easy to make. It's not 100% reminiscent of eggs, but it does have a similar texture and flavor. I put this stuff on some toasted multi-grain bread and paired it with the In-a-Pinch Corn and Broccoli chowder from the other day. It was the perfect lunch for a rainy day.

Eggless Salad

• 1pkg extra firm tofu, pressed NOTE: this is the kind in the plastic tub with water, not the aseptic package.
• 1T dijon mustard-(make sure it's vegan. some brands put egg in it!)
• 1/4 c nutritional yeast also known in the vegan lexicon as "nooch"
• 1t garlic powder
• 2t onion powder
• 1/2 t black pepper
• 1T bragg's liquid aminos
• 2T chopped pickle (dill! dill! dill!)
• 1T fresh dill (or 1t of dried)
• a shredded carrot (optional)
• chives (optional)
• pinch of salt*

*IF you can score it, get black salt. A little goes a long way and it has an eggy smell and flavor. You can find it at an Indian grocery or restaurant. Regular salt will work.

This recipe is best if made the night before. If you lack the time, it will still be okay, just not as good.

How in the hell do you press tofu? Easy--take that block of tofu and put it between two dinner plates. Sit a big ol' can of tomatoes or a hand weight-(because I know you haven't worked out in ages) and let gravity do it's thing. Drain after 10 minutes three times, and almost all of the water should be out of the block. Now this brick o' soy is a blank canvas to absorb anything and everything it is mixed with!

With clean hands, mush the tofu up to a ricotta consistency. Add all of your ingredients and stir thoroughly--you don't want to chomp into a complete bite of mustard or plain tofu-(blech!).
Sit in a tupperware container and allow the flavors to meld overnight. Serve on your favorite bread with your favorite toppings. I am partial to sun dried tomatoes.

A new twist on peanut butter and bacon

Did Elvis really eat peanut butter and bacon sandwiches? I have no idea. Must be one of those urban legends, like pop rocks and soda. This sandwich is not the stuff of fairy tales, this is something I thought about all day long while I sold garden products at work. I kept thinking, what am I going to do with that Thai Sesame Peanut flavored tofu by West Soy and with that eggplant in the fridge?

I took a trip back to 2009 and looked at the concoction I threw together for eggplant bacon. I upped it a notch by marinating, baking, then pan frying in a little oil. I put it on top of some of the said Thai Peanut tofu, put a little arugula on some bread along with onion, beannaise-(from The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook), and the obligatory pickle. It was awesome! I decided I'd call it the ElviSteen McNoyes after The King, Celine, and Tami. I just can't test sandwiches for people all Summer and try to think that I can walk away from it all without a little inspiration.

Since daylight savings time has arrived, I can't take pictures outside like I used to. My solution has been to take them directly under the stove light. I'm known for bringin' the funny rather than my photo skills, but I think the results are better than flash, don't you?

Third time is a charm for brioche

One of the biggest fears I have is that I'll test for someone and have an enormous fail. I realize this is a horrible expectation because the title of Recipe Tester implies there will be some minor catastrophes. For Celine and Tami's sandwich cookbook, I wrestled with the brioche recipe quite a bit before I got it right.
For you folk scratchin' yer heads wondering what the hell brioche is-(don't worry, I did too!), lemme tell you about it: it's like challah had a wild n' crazy mating session with a croissant and had a loaf baby. Rich, slightly crisp on the outside and melt in your mouth buttery and spongy moist on the inside. My first attempt was a no, the second attempt was a slightly worse fail, and the third time was PERFECT. Thank the bread gods and goddesses.

This is the tofu n' greens briochewich from the upcoming cook book. Now, that tofu ain't your standard scrambly thing. There's some stuff in it that'll blow your mind. You'll buy the book, look at the recipe, and go "No way. There's no way those ingredients will work!" But you trudge the happy road of destiny and surprise your mouth. It's a deal maker.


HEY BETH! Don't forget to give me your information so I can mail you your copy of Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian! I'm giving you until the 15th to respond, or I'll move down the list and give the zine to someone else. Send your information to noexcusesprivatechef@gmail.com

PPS- If you're a hardcore PITA Vegan fan, check out my interview on All Things Vegan Radio in Bend, OR! The fine ladies from the show had an interview with me at Vida Vegan Con.

MOFO Day #14 True Grub: Jason Stackhouse Po Boy

You have made a mighty fine mess of things Jason Stackhouse. You've charmed the pannies off women from Bon Temps to Dallas, was blamed for several murders, had a run in with V that led to a crazy boner, was possessed by a maenad, killed The Love of Tara's Life, fell for a meth cook in Hotshot, thought you might be a werepanther, and stole your best friends' gal. That's a lot of stuff for one guy to shoulder. But I've got something that will make you forget about everything.
Tofu Catfish. Fried stuff with sauce makes EVERYTHING BETTER.
See the magic happening as the nuggets bathe in hot canola oil?
Slap that on an everything hoagie bun with all the fixin's and Alcide's Dilly of a Comeback Sauce.
OOOOOOhhhhh.


This recipe was inspired by Dallas Vegan's post about vegan catfish. For the life of me, I couldn't find the recipe, so I had to improvise and come up with something from memory. For you new to veganism or omnis making food for your vegan friends, the key to capturing essence of the sea is seaweed and some Old Bay Seasoning. If you don't have OB, you can make your own or grab elements of the seasoning blend: hot pepper, black pepper, salt, bay leaves, and some paprika.

Tofu Catfish
1.5 c. garbanzos
14 oz pkg firm tofu
1/4 t. lemon pepper seasoning
1/4 t. fresh ground black pepper
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. red pepper flakes
1 T powdered Nori
1/2 t celery flakes

Pulse everything in food processor, you want it chunky and not smooth. Set aside

Coating

1/3 c. cornmeal
1/4 c. oat flour
1/2 c. Rice Krispies (to make gluten free, you need to find GF crisp rice cereal, because Rice Krispies have barley malt in them, which some cannot tolerate)
1/4 t. cayenne
1 t. onion powder
1/2 t. garlic powder
pinch of coriander
1-2 t. salt
black pepper
couple dashes of paprika

Heat oil in your Fry Daddy or in a deep skillet at least 1 inch deep. Wait patiently.
I tried making shrimp shapes out of the tofu, but they ultimately fell apart. Make nuggets or patties out of tofu mixture and roll in the coating. Once the oil is hot, gently place your nuggets or patties in the oil. For a lower fat version, you can bake these in a 350 oven, just make sure you spray your pan with some non-stick spray and flip the patties or nuggets over after 7-9 minutes and cook for another 10. But baking these won't be as awesome as frying them. Duh.

Fry for a few minutes on one side, then several more minutes on the other. Drain your tofu catfish on paper towels and prepare your buns for some lovin':

Everything hoagie buns- (get GF if you are GF)
Italian flat leaf parsley
Fresh tomatoes
Thinly sliced red onion


You're in luck That PITA Vegan readers--I'm giving you a bonus recipe. Don't worry, I actually made TWO versions of Alcide's Comeback Sauce and will post the sweet version in another post. Rather than uncontrollably giggle while trying to explain what comeback sauce is, just click on this link. I personally think the savory dill version works better with the tofu catfish, but that's up to you. There are sweet pickle people and dill pickle people.

I'm a dilly fer sure. Totally.

Alcide's Dilly of a Comeback Sauce

1 c. PLAIN UNSWEETENED vegan yogurt
1/2 c. olive oil, set aside
1-2 t. Louisiana hot sauce
1 t. dijon mustard
1 t. nutritional yeast
1/2 t. miso
1 t. apple cider vinegar
1-2 big cloves of garlic
1 t. onion powder
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
1T Bragg's liquid aminos
1 T fresh dill

Blend everything together minus the olive oil, then slowly pour that in last. You will have a gorgeous, thick, and delicious chili dill mayonnaise perfect for everything, especially this sammich.


I realize I forgot about Food Blogger Friday last week! Silly me. Here's a fantastic fellow blogger that I met at Vida Vegan Con: Samantha at Novel Eats. She's super nice and her site is way informative, especially if you are new to planet vegan. Let's not forget the recipes! I envy her organization.

I'm not always testing sandwiches...

Sometimes I'm just making them for me. This was part of last week's haul from the food bank: roasted garlic bread with ingredients I recognized, West Soy Thai Peanut Tofu, sauteed red peppers and onions served with a side of oven baked snap beans-(my new favorite way of eating them!)

I didn't get a close up of the beans largely because I was bummed that the purple ones didn't keep their color and ended up looking like the green ones. As I ate them I'm pretty sure Joe Dirt popped out of the bushes and said, "Daaaaang!" because they were so darned tasty. Since that brand of prepared tofu isn't really peanutty-(barely detectable), I made a schmear with a little extra peanut butter, garlic, and mae ploi chile sauce.

To make the oven baked snap beans is, well--um, er it's a snap!

preheat oven to 400

Wash and snap ends off beans.
Juice of 1/2 lemon, 2T olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.
Rub lemon juice, oil, and seasonings into beans and spread evenly on a cookie sheet-(spray!) cook for 7-8 minutes on one side, flip, and cook for another 5-7 minutes. These are great on their own, but if you have to have a condiment to dip them in go ahead.

9 more days until MOFO! Are you ready?