A Tale of Two Soups and My Opinion on Farts.

 Brrrr! It's cold outside! Time to warm up with soup. Today we have a tale of two soups. The one above is a tasty red lentil vegetable soup complete with a giant dumpling. The spice blend used is my new favorite: Mediterranean. For X-Mas, my kids got me this big container of the stuff and I've been using it for soups, vegetables, and veggie burgers! It's a mixture of cumin, coriander, oregano, rosemary, salt, and a pinch of cinnamon! The dumpling is the rug that ties the room together. For an elastic second, I forgot that it is just 7 degrees outside my door!

The second soup is a vegan ham n' bean soup that I found on VegWeb. My spouse wanted to try it, so we did. We used pintos instead of the recommended black eyed peas, and had fantastic results. When I was little, I was a bean with bacon soup junkie, and this reminded me of that commercial canned soup from so long ago! If you're craving a smoky, salty, bacon-y, and beany soup, this is for you. To answer the question, "Will this make me fart?" The answer is "Yes, duh." If you're gonna go vegan, expect some gas. After all, you're eating a lot of beans! I'd still take a room full of morally superior vegan farts any day over the stench of one omnivore fart.

Vegan MOFO Day #5: Glenn Likes Burgers

 What, you were expecting some type of stir fry or noodle dish? Shame on you for stereotyping. Can't a guy just like a burger? Besides, it pisses me off when people lump up Asian cuisine with all things from the far-far East. Asia is a big territory, kids--if you paid any attention in Geography class you'd know it covers Saudi Arabia, Russia, Turkey, Iraq, India, and all those other countries one normally associates with all things Asia. But I digress.

 Glenn needs adequate fuel for all those dangerous errands he's doing for us at camp. This isn't just any burger, though. This is Glenn's special blackeye pea buffalo burger. The secret is in the sauce, it's mixed in the burger so you don't have too much of a mess. You'll still need a napkin with all that creamy cole slaw on top. 

Glenn's Blackeye Pea Buffalo Burgers
You'll need:

• 1 can blackeye peas, rinsed and drained
• 1/2 c. corn chip dust* ( this is a perfect way to use up those unloved chip particles at the bottom of the bag--just run them through the food processor or coffee mill.)
• 1/4 c. instant oats
• 1/2 c. your favorite hot sauce, or more if you so desire
• 1 t. garlic powder
• 1 T ms. dash or salt free all-purpose seasoning

Toppings:

• cole slaw
• tomatoes

Put the burger on:
A good bun or kaiser roll. make sure you butter and toast it with some Earth Balance or a little olive oil! Don't skip this crucial step--I know you're thinking about it. Just toast the damn bun. Doing so really ties the room together. If you want a completely gluten free burger, get yourself a gluten free bun. They can be found just about anywhere these days.

In a bowl, smash the ingredients together with a potato masher or by hand and make 3 huge patties, or 4 smaller patties, whatever turns you on, baby. If you are on the OCD side and can't stand getting your hands messy, bust out the food processor and dirty more dishes--it's your life. Because this is a bean based burger without any vital wheat gluten, these aren't grill friendly. You'll want to pan fry these. Get a skillet with some non stick spray and cook them until they are crispy on both sides. You could probably fry them in a little oil too, but I'm trying to cut back on the amount of oil I use when I eat. This sammich goes well with an ice cold root beer and some ammunition.

**swoon**

Curry Me On

EVERYONE and their mother has this dish in their veggie/vegan menu rotation: chickpeas, tomatoes, and potatoes. Some are curried, some are cuminized. Is cuminized even a word? Hell no, but that don't stop me, now does it?

Here's my version I like to call, "Curry Me On". It's not actually curried at all, this has nitter kibbeh and berebere spice in it.

You'll need:

• 3 large potatoes, chopped
• 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 1 can tomato soup
• 1 can diced tomatoes
• 1 can coconut milk
• 1 can water (from tomato soup can)
• 
  
• 1/4 t. ginger
• 1/4 t. cardamom
• 3 cubes berebere spice* ( I used recipe from Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian)
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 3 heaping T's of nitter kibbeh* (I used recipe from Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian)
• couple splashes of Bragg's liquid aminos

Saute red onion in nitter kibbeh, then add the berebere cubes until melted. Add your coconut milk, water, tomatoes, tomato soup, and chickpeas. Then add the potatoes. Bring to a rollin' boil, then simmer until potatoes are tender. This is more of a wintery dish, but I made it today because that was what I had on hand for a meal. It is very comforting.

Butter Bean Chili

I'm a magician in the kitchen at work. As aforementioned, there's very little I can eat at Chez Omni, but because I know my shit and I love the show Chopped, I can easily make something out of a mystery basket of ingredients. Here's a precious little number I made on the fly, it's called Butterbean Chili. When you  make it, make sure you have the B-52's playing Butter Beans in the background.

You'll need

• 1 can of butter beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 12 oz can of V-8 juice
• 2 cloves of garlic
• 1 T of balsamic vinegar dressing
• 1 t Ms. Dash table blend
• dash of salt
• 1/2 t onion powder
• 2 t Ms. Dash chipotle blend
• 1 t cumin
• 1/2 t paprika
• 1/2 t black pepper
• dash of hot sauce
• 1/2 t chili powder

Bring everything together to a rollin' boil, and simmer for about a half an hour. I served mine over mashed potatoes and with a side salad. I think this would be rad with the traditional corn bread and some vegan sour cream, or even over a bed of tortilla chips.

OYMST Day #12: Clean Yo Pantry

I threw this together in less than 45 minutes. It's a burrito casserole thingy I do a few times a year. Stale tortillas layered with a tomato/chile/oregano sauce, re fried beans, corn, and dollops of cilantro pesto on top. Layer it like lasagna, baby. In the oven at 350 for a half an hour, then uncovered for another 10-12 minutes. You can use vegan cheez if you wanna, but with all those flavors going on, why mess with perfection? Go the natural route by throwing some avocado slices on top. Looky-looky, you have yourself a casserole that will make your friends think you spent a couple of hours in the kitchen. Clean Yo Pantry! I promise I won't tell.

Dinner in a Hottie Second

Feeling the stress of last minute shopping and 12 days of eating sweets for breakfast? Not me, I'll never get sick of that. Contrary to popular belief, I do eat other things. Other things that are awesome for my heart and colon!

Here's a little bit of red and green for the holidays: Appetite for Reduction's Hottie Black Eyed Peas n' Greens is a cinch to throw together, and ready for you in less than 30 minutes. Seriously, put down the shopping bags and skip the take out. You deserve something tasty and healthy. The peas and greens provide a stocking full of nutrition and goes well over a nice bed of rice and side of biscuits. If you're a starchophobe, I'm sure you could pair it with another salad or the mashed sweet potatoes and apples from the same cookbook.

Jen Loves Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian!

I made this quite some time ago. This is some stuff from Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian. Don't ask me what it is because I'm in a bad mood and too lazy to look it up. (((stamping feet)))) Okay, the green bean stuff is the ye'takelt allecha-(gingery mixed vegetables). It was pretty good. You should totally buy Kittee's 'zine. I gave a copy away to another blogger, but haven't heard from her. I'm probably going to have to go down the list and give it to the next person in line if I don't hear from her by tomorrow. It is so awesome being the Susan Lucci of vegan blogging.

I use the nitter kibbeh recipe as a butter sub for just about everything. I've even added it to Celine Steen's Cheezy Quacker recipe with nice success. Gives a great flavor to the crackers.

MOFO Day #29True Grub: Luna's Quinoa Burgers

The scene they didn't show: Luna pitching her quinoa burger to Sam. "It's a protein packed powerhouse." She says. Sam smiles, "I have your powerhouse right here."

Remind me to never write fan fiction.
Luna describes the patty as a slightly spicy blend of quinoa, roasted peppers, and white beans with some spices. Blended together they produce gorgeous orange veggie burger that tastes great plain or with toppings. She served mine warmed in pita halves with some chili and Antonia's Gone Bananas Salsamole.
Don't forget the yam fries and beannaise.

Luna's Quinoa Burgers-To make GF, use GF bread and toppings.

• 2 c. cooked quinoa
• 2 c. cooked white beans
• 2 roasted poblano peppers-washed, seeds removed
• 2 roasted red peppers, ditto
• 1 roasted banana pepper, ditto
• 2 t. onion powder
• 2 t. salt
• 1/2 t. paprika
• 1 t. garlic powder
• 1 t. oregano

Blend everything in a food processor while you heat up a griddle or non stick pan. Brush the griddle with a little canola oil. The mixture will be pretty messy: not dry, and not soupy--somewhere in between. Take a spoon and scoop tennis ball sized dollops of the mixture on the griddle. Using damp fingers, press down on the patties to flatten them to about 1/4 -1/2 inch thick--don't burn your fingers! Use your spatula to make these shift into squares or circles, your stomach doesn't really care. Cook for 4-5 on one side, flip cook for another 4-5, flip and cook for another 2 minutes. The patties should be crispy on the outside. This mix makes a shitload so you'll probably want to have your oven set to warm (200) and put them in there as you go along. Fix with your favorite toppings on your preferred brand bread. I used pita because a) it was all I had, and b) you don't want to trump the awesome texture and flavor of this burger with a big assed bun.

MOFO Day#23 True Grub: Favorite Entry?

We interrupt this MOFO Blog with a Voodoo Black Bean Pesto Pizza followed by a question.

It's not that I'm running out of ideas--boy howdy, I have 'em. I'm just running out of time. I'm a multitasking fool and instead of sitting in my underwear blogging, I've been at work all day. Thank goodness Miss Jeanette brought me this pizza. I don't care if she is just a clerk at the local drug store. This lady can make a pie that will make you feel like you've died and been reborn as someone way cooler.

This cilantro pesto paste recipe is here, although it lacks measurements because I honestly just throw a bunch of shit in a blender and it turns out right every time. If you want your pesto to have a little kick, throw a half cup of fresh arugula and a jalapeno in with the mixture.

I utilized pre-made pizza crust from Aver's ( a little over $2.50 for a ball of ready to bake dough). I piled on some black beans, shredded carrots, roasted zucchini, and cherry tomatoes. Finger lickin' good and magical.


So tell me PITA Vegan readers, what has been your favorite True Grub entry so far? Are you prepared for an excellent last week?

Hang on to your spines. That's all I'm gonna say.

MOFO Day #14 True Grub: Jason Stackhouse Po Boy

You have made a mighty fine mess of things Jason Stackhouse. You've charmed the pannies off women from Bon Temps to Dallas, was blamed for several murders, had a run in with V that led to a crazy boner, was possessed by a maenad, killed The Love of Tara's Life, fell for a meth cook in Hotshot, thought you might be a werepanther, and stole your best friends' gal. That's a lot of stuff for one guy to shoulder. But I've got something that will make you forget about everything.
Tofu Catfish. Fried stuff with sauce makes EVERYTHING BETTER.
See the magic happening as the nuggets bathe in hot canola oil?
Slap that on an everything hoagie bun with all the fixin's and Alcide's Dilly of a Comeback Sauce.
OOOOOOhhhhh.


This recipe was inspired by Dallas Vegan's post about vegan catfish. For the life of me, I couldn't find the recipe, so I had to improvise and come up with something from memory. For you new to veganism or omnis making food for your vegan friends, the key to capturing essence of the sea is seaweed and some Old Bay Seasoning. If you don't have OB, you can make your own or grab elements of the seasoning blend: hot pepper, black pepper, salt, bay leaves, and some paprika.

Tofu Catfish
1.5 c. garbanzos
14 oz pkg firm tofu
1/4 t. lemon pepper seasoning
1/4 t. fresh ground black pepper
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. red pepper flakes
1 T powdered Nori
1/2 t celery flakes

Pulse everything in food processor, you want it chunky and not smooth. Set aside

Coating

1/3 c. cornmeal
1/4 c. oat flour
1/2 c. Rice Krispies (to make gluten free, you need to find GF crisp rice cereal, because Rice Krispies have barley malt in them, which some cannot tolerate)
1/4 t. cayenne
1 t. onion powder
1/2 t. garlic powder
pinch of coriander
1-2 t. salt
black pepper
couple dashes of paprika

Heat oil in your Fry Daddy or in a deep skillet at least 1 inch deep. Wait patiently.
I tried making shrimp shapes out of the tofu, but they ultimately fell apart. Make nuggets or patties out of tofu mixture and roll in the coating. Once the oil is hot, gently place your nuggets or patties in the oil. For a lower fat version, you can bake these in a 350 oven, just make sure you spray your pan with some non-stick spray and flip the patties or nuggets over after 7-9 minutes and cook for another 10. But baking these won't be as awesome as frying them. Duh.

Fry for a few minutes on one side, then several more minutes on the other. Drain your tofu catfish on paper towels and prepare your buns for some lovin':

Everything hoagie buns- (get GF if you are GF)
Italian flat leaf parsley
Fresh tomatoes
Thinly sliced red onion


You're in luck That PITA Vegan readers--I'm giving you a bonus recipe. Don't worry, I actually made TWO versions of Alcide's Comeback Sauce and will post the sweet version in another post. Rather than uncontrollably giggle while trying to explain what comeback sauce is, just click on this link. I personally think the savory dill version works better with the tofu catfish, but that's up to you. There are sweet pickle people and dill pickle people.

I'm a dilly fer sure. Totally.

Alcide's Dilly of a Comeback Sauce

1 c. PLAIN UNSWEETENED vegan yogurt
1/2 c. olive oil, set aside
1-2 t. Louisiana hot sauce
1 t. dijon mustard
1 t. nutritional yeast
1/2 t. miso
1 t. apple cider vinegar
1-2 big cloves of garlic
1 t. onion powder
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
1T Bragg's liquid aminos
1 T fresh dill

Blend everything together minus the olive oil, then slowly pour that in last. You will have a gorgeous, thick, and delicious chili dill mayonnaise perfect for everything, especially this sammich.


I realize I forgot about Food Blogger Friday last week! Silly me. Here's a fantastic fellow blogger that I met at Vida Vegan Con: Samantha at Novel Eats. She's super nice and her site is way informative, especially if you are new to planet vegan. Let's not forget the recipes! I envy her organization.

Mofo Day #1 True Grub: Renee's Dark Side Jambalaya

Welcome to True Grub! That's right, I wanna chew good things with you.

When you came in, the eggs went out
And every taste bud filled up with doubt
I don't know who you think you are But before this meal is through
I wanna chew good things with you
I'm the kind to eat up lots of meat Gut sick and heart filled with defeat
I can't pronounce what you've cooked for me
But I know this much is true
I wanna chew good things with you

This year's theme was inspired by one of my favorite television shows, a cuisine I am completely unfamiliar with, and a little muse from Isa. I originally wanted it to be a collaborative effort with her because I'm nerdy like that, but I kept coming up with mostly my own recipes and figured I could do this alone. So exciting!

We'll spend the month looking at traditional Looziana Cookin', some gory things made vegan, and some dishes made with other people's recipes. I will only be posting my own recipes. If you want to get the recipes of other dishes, I encourage you to support these vegan chef badasses and buy their books.

For the first meal, I bring you...

Renee's Dark Side Jambalaya

I'm about as Yank as a Yankee can be, but that won't stop me from trying to cook traditional LA food. This version of jambalaya is Cajun because it lacks tomatoes. I read somewhere that the further one is from New Orleans, the less tomatoes there are in the food. I have no idea if that is true or not, but I scoped out several recipes on line and all Cajun ones lacked tomatoes.

If you're a fan of the show, you'll know in season one that Renee isn't really Cajun, he's just masquerading as one. This is some real food, but I cheated a little by cooking the rice in stock in advance and adding it to the dish at the end. All the books I have read instructs the individual to brown the meat, holy trinity of onions, bell pepper, and celery, and then put it in a pot with the rice and stock allowing everything to cook. Well, I don't have time for that. You might want to adjust the spices based on how much you can take, but I left it as-is so my daughter could eat it. I just topped it with some additional hot sauce.

You'll need:

• A rice cooker
• 3 big handfulls of dry soy curls
• 1 t. powdered nori or some sort of seaweed for fishy flavor-(optional)
  
• 8 oz. white beans (cooked)
• 1 can of black beans (rinsed and drained)
• 1 big clove of garlic
• The Holy Trinity: 50% onion, 25% celery, and 25% bell pepper. I used 1 c. of onion, and 1/2 c. of the celery and pepper
• 1.5 c rice of your choice, dry
• 1 veggie bouillon cube
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 t. vegan Worcestershire sauce
• 1T favorite hot sauce
• 1/4-1/2 t. cayenne pepper
• 1 t onion powder
• olive oil for sauteing

First things first: soak those curls in some hot water with the nori and set aside.
Get your rice cooker started with 1.5 c. dry rice + 3 c. water+ bullion and bay leaves.
Take the chopped holy trinity and garlic and saute under medium heat in a stock pot. Once they are sweaty n' soft, grab your soy curls-(MAKE SURE YOU SQUEEZE ALL THE WATER OUT) and throw those in. Save the stock for a future recipe or something. Get 'em nice n' brown. Add the spices, Worcestershire, and hot sauce. Now add the beans. Your rice should be done by now. Throw that cooked rice in the mix and give it all a good stir. Keep stirring for a few minutes, cover, keep the temp on low. Serve with some fresh parsley and extra hot sauce if needed. Look over your shoulder to make sure there aren't any fakin' Cajun dudes behind you with an axe.

I'm not always testing sandwiches...

Sometimes I'm just making them for me. This was part of last week's haul from the food bank: roasted garlic bread with ingredients I recognized, West Soy Thai Peanut Tofu, sauteed red peppers and onions served with a side of oven baked snap beans-(my new favorite way of eating them!)

I didn't get a close up of the beans largely because I was bummed that the purple ones didn't keep their color and ended up looking like the green ones. As I ate them I'm pretty sure Joe Dirt popped out of the bushes and said, "Daaaaang!" because they were so darned tasty. Since that brand of prepared tofu isn't really peanutty-(barely detectable), I made a schmear with a little extra peanut butter, garlic, and mae ploi chile sauce.

To make the oven baked snap beans is, well--um, er it's a snap!

preheat oven to 400

Wash and snap ends off beans.
Juice of 1/2 lemon, 2T olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.
Rub lemon juice, oil, and seasonings into beans and spread evenly on a cookie sheet-(spray!) cook for 7-8 minutes on one side, flip, and cook for another 5-7 minutes. These are great on their own, but if you have to have a condiment to dip them in go ahead.

9 more days until MOFO! Are you ready?