Hoosier Scramble

What is under that pile of gravy? While the photo doesn't look appetizing-(hey, gravy shots rarely do), the contents are by golly: this is my take on the Village Deli's Hoosier Scramble. Their very un vegan version is toast smothered in scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage gravy, and cheese.

My version is toast with tofu scramble, hash browns, miso gravy, and topped with daiya. I served some fresh tomato slices along side this treat and ate the whole damn thing. Nice to have my appetite back.

Star of Gravyd

So what's a Jewish Vegan Gal supposed to do during Passover? For me, not anything incredibly different. Last year I had a "Tater Seder" which is a really cheap way to host a seder and keep everything K for P.

Since I quit going to temple and am now partying with the UU posse, I've reexamined my attitude towards the holiday. I won't get into those details because this is a food blog and I don't really want to digress from the primary purpose of eating well and havin' fun.

For those of you who are Pesach clueless, here's the story in a nutshell: Jews left Egypt to escape slavery and didn't have enough time to let their bread rise, so it apparently looked like a giant saltine cracker, only less tasty. Matzah meal was also fed to the Israelites because it was filling and cheap gruel to give to the slaves. So the eating of matzah has a couple of different meanings: urgency to escape oppression and what it means to be fed something sub standard.

I took this year's matzah and gave it a makeover. Readers, I give you...
The Star of Gravyd!

Jewish cooking isn't horribly complicated. Most of the time if you throw something on top of matzah or a bagel, that's good enough. Take two matzohs and overlap them into a Magen David shape. Got it? Good.
Top with steamed kale, vegan sausage gravy, home fries, and a little hot sauce. This is Hoosier fare meets Matzoh. Is it good? Well if you put enough stuff on matzah, sure. Gravy makes everything better, duh.

I'm not gonna tell you how to make gravy, because how you make yours is probably better than mine. All gravy is composed of some sort of liquid fat, protein source, salt, pepper, a little stock, and a few tablespoons of flour. Am I right or what?

Kale is different. You can steam it or cook the crap out of it, but it's much better if you do this with it:

Baconless Kale

1 bunch of kale, washed and cut into small pieces
1/4 c. fakin' bacon bitz, set aside
1/4 c. canola oil, set aside
a little Bragg's Liquid Aminos

Steam that kale, but don't let it get mushy. Drain and set aside in a larger pan. In the mean time, heat the oil in a small pan and add the bacon bitz, stirring until fragrant. You really want that oil to absorb the smoky imitation bacon flavor. Strain and add this grease to your kale. Use a few squirts of Bragg's and add a little hot sauce. Stir in the pot for just a few minutes. Viola.

MOFO Day #4 True Grub: Terry's Red Eye Gravy n' Grits

Now you get to see several recipes unified in one delicious ceremony which I have nicknamed Merlotte's Red Plate Special. When you ask Sam to fry up some ham, Gram to bring her beans n' ham, and Terry who's mentally on the fritz to bring the gravy n' grits, well--that is something that Dr. Seuss can write a book about.
Just look at that, three awesome dishes gossiping in harmony.
Terry Bellefleur. Terry-Terry-Terry. I absolutely adore him. Did you know when this lovable cup of crazy isn't slingin' hash at the bar, he is writing his own Southern vegan cookbook and testing his recipes on Arlene? True story. I was talking with him this morning about Gilmore Girls re-runs over a giant plate of the aforementioned Merlotte's Red Plate Special. What a cutie pie.

Now back to reality. I'm sitting in front of the computer in my makeshift pajamas analytically toiling over how I'm supposed to convince you this is old skool red eye gravy. Sadly, it isn't--but don't run away, it IS GRAVY. Greasy, salty, and glorious gravy praise Jeebus. The signature moniker of red eye comes from pouring the coffee in the pork drippings to have your skillet look like a giant eyeball. Louisiana RE Gravy is usually made with roast beef and a chicory coffee. Seriously, who needs culinary school when you can just look stuff up on Wikipedia?

Since I'm BFF with Wilbur and Babe, I skipped the pork drippings by using this recipe. I'm sure it could be better, but I think it's pretty good, and you have to give yours Jewly some cred for having the chutzpah to create something she has never made or even tried. Boo-yah.

Terry's Red Eye Gravy n' Grits

You'll need:

• A couple of big pieces of Sam's Shape Shifter Ham
• 2T AP flour
• 3/4 c. strong coffee-(preferably day old) I was in a pinch and prepared a cup of (ACK!) instant coffee.
• 1 c. of Sam's Shape Shifter ham puree*-(remember the floaty bits and left over stock from the recipe? Did you listen to me and keep it? Good. Now throw that in a blender until smooth.)
• 1 t chili powder
• 2T vegan butter
• 3T canola oil
• 1/2 t salt (or more) to taste
• 1/4 c. finely chopped onions
• a few turns of fresh black pepper
• A couple of portions of cooked grits

Melt that butter and saute those onions on medium heat, Don't let the crackling sound remind you of the war zone. Add the chili powder and canola oil, throwing the ham steaks in and fry the shit out of them. Once the ham is good n' crispy, take it out and put in a warm oven. Where in the hell is my coffee? Put that in the skillet, then add the ham puree. Add the 2T flour last. Don't think you can mix up the order of stuff--I'm watching you.

Pour the gravy over prepared grits and on top of your ham. Serve with Gram's Ham & Beans if you please.