Your Xmas Cookie List

What cookies will you be making this year? Sugar? Gingerbread? Chocolate Crinkles? Or are you more of a cupcake person?
Tell me all about it. Santa wants to know what to expect when he busts open your door. Not too many houses have chimneys anymore.
Here's my list:

Sugar Cookies from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar
Chokoladballs from "
Chocolate Crinkles from "
Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies from Vegan On the Cheap
Probably a shortcut cookie
Soft Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies from The Vegan Cookie Conoisseur
????????


Any GF ideas? Tell me about them.

It's not________, it's this...

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "I can't go vegan because I could never give up ______", I'd be wearing my weight in gold chains and be knee deep in fly girls. I know what it feels like--wondering if there's any way you can get over having chocolate sans milkfat, tortillas without duck feather preservatives, the gooey stringiness of cheese, smoky crisp of bacon, and the salty hot tang of buffalo wings.

I don't eat fake food, I eat real food. When I want something that I crave from the pregan days, I simply go to some real eats that have those characteristics. Perfect example is this buffalo chicken salad with smoked almonds and guacamole dressing. This made me forget that it was the end of November. If there was a vegan version of Applebee's, this would be a top seller.

• The greens are a spicy mesclun mix which has a peppery bacony flavor. You can use any green you want, but I went this route.
  
• The buffalo seitan is a chicken like wheat meat lightly breaded and coated in Frank's hot sauce plus a little Earth Balance vegan margarine.
• Smoked almonds give me the savory salty crunch I seek. No, it's not bacon but pigs everywhere will thank you and so will your heart.
• Here's the one you don't thing belongs: guacamole dressing. The cool creamy avocado is a nice flavor against the greens, almonds, and the hot wing sauce. Individually these ingredients don't really say much, but when they all hang out and discuss how to please your taste buds, it's a combination that sings a joyful noise.

Eating this way isn't about achieving sainthood by depriving yourself of yummy food. Veganism is cheap, fun, accessible, and absolutely delicious.

Anatomy of a vegan Txgiving dinner

Here, we view the mishmash on my plate. Doesn't everyone's plate look like this, esp. the day after the Big Feast? Why don't we get a closer look at the **magic**?

I'm so in love with this years tricked out sweet potatoes. I took a recipe inspired by an old skool casserole cookbook and added some PITA vegan flair. Don't you see the flair?

The green bean casserole was a hit. We attended the UU pitch in and I made sure to bring plenty of stuff for myself and a little extra to share. I made enough for 6 ample or 10 small servings of the following: stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes w/ garlic and arugula, gobbler slices, and roasted butternut squash w/lime and Caribbean Ms. Dash. Oh yeah.

I was only able to take a plate of about 1/4 to 1/2 c. servings home. Everyone else ate it all! Score for team V!

What did you eat on the big day? Did you introduce an omni or vegetarian to the glories of Planet Vegan?

Jen's Tricked out Sweet Potatoes

You'll need

• 1 GIANT sweet potato, equaling 2 c. worth cooked and cubed
• 1 overripe banana
• 2 c. of frozen fruit, I used a pear and a couple of small peaches.
• 1 t cinnamon
• 1/4 c. Smucker's Marshmallow Ice cream topping--chemical but vegan!
• 1/4 c. finely chopped nuts- I used pecans
• 1/4 c. shredded coconut

Set the oven to 300. Spray a pie plate w/ nonstick spray or canola oil. Set aside.

In a food processor, put in the cubed cooked sweet potatoes, mashed banana, and chopped frozen fruit. Fruit is pretty easy to chop when it is frozen and has been left out for about 20 minutes. You could always go the easy route and chop up some overripe stuff, but why make the holidays easy? Pshaw. Toss in the cinnamon and marshmallow topping. Pulse until whipped, but it doesn't have to be 100% smooth. Now spread that stuff in the pie pan and smooth over with the back of a spoon or spatula. Sprinkle the nuts and coconut on top. Cover and bake for about 45m, then 15 uncovered. Allow to cool about 15 before serving. This is SO FORKING good. If you have doubts, just look at that photo again.

Traditional Holiday Dishes Veganized

Rerun time! People, You're looking at the infamous Gobbler Slices from Celine and Tami's upcoming vegan sandwich cookbook, Vegan Sandwiches Save the Day! You MUST buy this book once it is available. I just made a mega loaf for Txgiving dinner today.

((stepping up to the pulpit)) And what is this holiday all about? A cruel reminder of what most of our forefathers did to the indigenous folk buried with a buffet of goodies followed by crazy department store sales? It really depends on who you are. I heard some people bad mouthin' this day, and I get it--the past sucks. I'm not just tossin' a "move on" attitude either. There is still pain and suffering every holiday. For people and animals. Let us all reclaim this as an opportunity to count our blessings and evaluate what is important to us.

That and food. The food! ((shaking fist in the air))
Look at that loaf. Sure it's kind of plain, but I assure you the taste is not. You'll never eat tofurky again.
Gobbler Club: gobbler slices, bacon bitz, red onion, fresh tomato, fresh parsley, and beannaise all on a cibatta roll.


This post is dedicated to Turkeys everywhere: here's some traditional Txgiving dishes veganized. Perhaps you're thinking of foregoing the bird this year. Maybe you have one of those weirdo vegans coming over for dinner. Be prepared and delighted!

*NOTE: this post is going in a day later than I wanted. If you've already gone ahead with your Thanksgiving plans, please consider these for the upcoming Xmas Holiday!

Main Course:

Chickpea Cutlets from Veganomicon
Chicken Seitan
Gluten Free Chickpea Patties

Sides:

• Mashed Potatoes with Olive oil instead of butter. Throw some minced garlic in there too.
• Sweet Potatoes with maple syrup and pecans. Use canola oil instead of butter to coat potatoes.
• Green Bean casserole- French's FF Onions are vegan. Puree mushrooms with a cup or two of veggie bullion, and thicken with some corn starch to make the cream of mushroom soup.
• This here veganized PORK RIND CASSEROLE. I will always be proud of this dish.
  

• Roasted asparagus w/olive oil, lemon, and a pinch of kosher salt
• Chickpea Gravy! Yes, gravy made with chickpeas. Us vegans will make gravy out of anything. Don't have chickpeas? Try subbing with another canned bean. Oh the possibilities!

Carby McCarb Land:

• Vegan Stuffing
• Gluten Free Vegan Stuffing
  
• Vegan Butterflake rolls
• Novel Eats take on the dinner roll
• Gluten Free Vegan French Bread Rolls w/ pumpkin butter

Don't forget to make room for dessert:

• vegan pumpkin pie
• lil' vegan pecan pies. dude!
• Veganized Persimmon Pudding Recipe
• behold the SMOLVE PIE-this one is labor intensive, but everyone will be super impressed.
• Gluten Free Vegan Pie Crust-fill it with your favorite gluten free filling

Enjoy this special day and remember that anyone can be vegan--it's not that hard. Turkeys everywhere are singin' praises for the principle of live and let live.

Such a ham...and a lousy photographer.

Hey readers,

I've been caught up in the pre-holiday hoopla and had a cold. Nothing clears the sinuses like a nice spicy ham salad topped with onion and a striped roma tomato. Of course you have to serve it on homemade bread, this ain't no Arby's. This also ain't no professional photography joint. But that's the beautiful I-don't-give-a-shit aesthetic you've come to love and enjoy. That picture is blur-ay. Gasp!

Just take a couple cups of cubed shapeshifter ham, add 1/3 c. vegan mayo, 1T siracha-(or favorite hot sauce), 1/2 t of agave or maple syrup, pepper, pinch of salt, and 1/4 chopped green and yellow peppers. Really you don't have to have the veggies--I just had them around the house. Mix it all together and you have a nice ham salad. I bet if you pureed it all you could easily mock that crazy stuff sold in the tubs at grocery store delicatessens. Mmmmm, sandwich spread in a tub.

Toast your bread of choice and top two slices with the ham salad mixture and top with onion and tomato. Pairs nicely with a corn chowder or tomato soup.

A vegan short cut with cookies

Thanks to FoodBuzz's Tastemaker Program and Duncan Hines for the awesome care package! I received 8 coupons for FREE DH products, and a free coupon for Comstock Pie Filling. I'll post about the pie at another time. Of course, I'm not going to eat all 8 boxes, so I'm giving some to my church to put in gift baskets for people during the Thanksgiving holiday.

The Tastemaker's program is an awesome opt-in program that is part of their Featured Publisher's group. If you get selected, you get gift packages from various companies to play around with and plug to the blogosphere. Pretty cool deal, if you ask me. Not all companies are vegan, but if you know your stuff, you can figure out which items will work for you. To me, there's no better way to spread the news than to mingle with gaggles of omnivores and traditionally non-vegan companies and telling them how you played scientist with their food. Cutting oneself off from others because of your diet is never a good way to get things done.

If you're new to veganism and have difficulties with baking, I feel you. I've been there. I have a short cut for all you newbies and wannabes! Most commercial cake mixes, are accidentally vegan not all--but most IF you use a vegan egg instead of a chicken egg. The ingredient list is on the processed and chemical side which causes skepticism for those who serve on the vegan police, but don't sweat it--this is a lifestyle choice about having fun and being creative. Don't let a select few bully your efforts in trying to do this! For further inspiration, read this article by Vegan Outreach.

These cookies are **awesome** and remind me of the big ass soft baked ones that I bought at the mall when I was an Aqua Net Hair Spray Diva and listening to Whitesnake.

So, I took the Devil's Food cake mix, and made the following subs:

*2 vegan eggs: 2 T ground flax seeds and 6T warm water. Whisk and set aside. The mixture will get kind of gelatinous after a few minutes.

1/4 c. unsweetened applesauce

1/4 c. canola oil

1/2 c. chocolate chips


Preheat that oven to three fiddy. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or foil lightly sprayed with canola oil spray.

After the vegan egg has gelled a little, whisk it with the oil and applesauce. Add this mixture to the dry cake mix. If you find it is too dry, add a T or two of more applesauce, but it really should be fine. Fold in the chocolate chips and get out a lightly oiled ice cream scoop.

Using the scoop, dole out single scoops on the cookie sheet, making special care to leave a few inches between each cookie. You should really only get 6 per sheet. If you want smaller cookies, ((sigh)) fine, use a tablespoon instead. I don't know why anyone would want smaller cookies.

Bake 'em for 10-12 minutes AND NOT ONE SECOND LONGER. Do you hear me, you doubting cookie Thomas? Let 'em cool for a minute or so before transferring them to a wire cooling rack.


Enjoy! Remember, this way of eating is really not a pain in the ass. It's a cinch. You can do it! Thanks again to FoodBuzz and Duncan Hines for making this post happen!


*=if you don't have access to ground flax seeds, don't fret. You can double the amount of applesauce-(for the record, I don't like the results), use 1/4 c. of pureed silken tofu-(in the aseptic package in the Asian aisle of your grocery store), or one mushed banana. If you go the banana route, your cookies will have a distinct flavor, but some people like banana--so there you have it.

It was the only bottle available

So I like taunting my co-workers every now and then. For those of you who have never lactated before, this is a breast milk bottle. I've finished weaning my children for some time now, but had this bottle left over to put my soy creamer in so I could doctor up the shitty excuse for coffee at work. Back in the day when I did pump, I had to label it BREAST MILK so no one would accidentally drink it. You would have thought I had put the fluid of some large black and white field dwelling, and grass eating creature held against her will and forced to put her milk in a machine instead of feeding it to her baby like a normal living thing.

Woah, that's what cow's milk is.

A new twist on peanut butter and bacon

Did Elvis really eat peanut butter and bacon sandwiches? I have no idea. Must be one of those urban legends, like pop rocks and soda. This sandwich is not the stuff of fairy tales, this is something I thought about all day long while I sold garden products at work. I kept thinking, what am I going to do with that Thai Sesame Peanut flavored tofu by West Soy and with that eggplant in the fridge?

I took a trip back to 2009 and looked at the concoction I threw together for eggplant bacon. I upped it a notch by marinating, baking, then pan frying in a little oil. I put it on top of some of the said Thai Peanut tofu, put a little arugula on some bread along with onion, beannaise-(from The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook), and the obligatory pickle. It was awesome! I decided I'd call it the ElviSteen McNoyes after The King, Celine, and Tami. I just can't test sandwiches for people all Summer and try to think that I can walk away from it all without a little inspiration.

Since daylight savings time has arrived, I can't take pictures outside like I used to. My solution has been to take them directly under the stove light. I'm known for bringin' the funny rather than my photo skills, but I think the results are better than flash, don't you?

Move over Nabisco

I know a name like "Whole Wheat Fig Bars" sounds kind of anti-climatic, but give a cookie a chance. I made these from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar, largely because I had a jar of fig pieces sitting on my shelf that begged to be used. I'm a chocolate freak, so I was kind of skeptical.

Lordy-lordy I've been saved by another cookie. Don't be thinkin' this is a healthy cookie because there's a 1/2 cup of oil in there, but you don't have to tell your friends. Don't try to go makin' it low fat or fat free to see what will happen, either. Isa knows her stuff. Just go with it. Watch 'em go "Wow! These are so much better than those....um, what are those other fig cookies called? Nevermind." Perfect for the upcoming holidays (((wink-wink))). Everyone knows Santa and Chanukkah Harry are partial to figs.

I made these for chalice circle at church and they were gone before the candle was even lit! I iced them with just a whisper of orange vanilla frosting. (((whispering))) Just a whisper.

Jen Loves Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian!

I made this quite some time ago. This is some stuff from Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian. Don't ask me what it is because I'm in a bad mood and too lazy to look it up. (((stamping feet)))) Okay, the green bean stuff is the ye'takelt allecha-(gingery mixed vegetables). It was pretty good. You should totally buy Kittee's 'zine. I gave a copy away to another blogger, but haven't heard from her. I'm probably going to have to go down the list and give it to the next person in line if I don't hear from her by tomorrow. It is so awesome being the Susan Lucci of vegan blogging.

I use the nitter kibbeh recipe as a butter sub for just about everything. I've even added it to Celine Steen's Cheezy Quacker recipe with nice success. Gives a great flavor to the crackers.

Cocoa Season Begins

Instead of Hunting Season or obsessing over the "perfect" turkey, wouldn't be awesome if we had Cocoa Season instead? Imagine the possibilities: Special camos for nature walks and fancy thermoses that hold all kinds of sugary, chocolatey, blissey, and frothy delights? Wouldn't a vegan IHOP be adorable with two grown men discussing the batch of white chocolate and fig hot cocoa over a stack of flapjacks? Wouldn't it be wonderful to see people in pick up trucks with kegs of cocoa instead of an animal? I thought so. One day, people. One day.


I officially declare November 11, 2011 to be the very first Hot Cocoa Season Ever. That's right. Put the guns down, grab a mug, and see what you can make. Tell me about your favorite hot cocoa moments! Don't have one? Well, make one up. You know that one about your boy/girl friend from Canada that we've never met? Who would you love to sit down with and discuss your favorite movie/band/stuffed animal with over a big cup of cocoa?


For my non-vegan readers asking, "How do I make cocoa vegan?" Take a looksie:

Milk Options:

• oat milk
• hemp milk
• almond milk
• soy milk
• coconut milk
• cashew cream or milk
• tahini milk
• peanut milk
• pistachio milk
• the list goes on and on!

You can basically make any non dairy milk by soaking 1 c. nuts to 2 c. water overnight. Put it in a blender and strain. Use the pulp for baked goods, hummus, or sauces. Store milk in fridge and shake before using because it will settle.

For oat milk, I take 1 c. oats to 3 c. water, blend, strain, and use in cocoa or baked goods. This saves $$ on buying soy milk at $3-$5 a pop.

Coconut milk is very mainstream, quite possibly the new black. You can find it everywhere. If you really want to indulge and get the creamiest out there, go to an ethnic grocer and buy the fatty mc fat version of it in a can. Seriously. Don't be freaked out by the fat at the top of the can, it's good for you. Just give the can a good shake.


The cocoa part:
I generally like to add 1 T of quality cocoa for every 6-8 oz of milk. Now that might be too strong for some and too weak for others, but there you have it.

Alternatives are as follows:

• 1/4-1/3 c. chocolate chips in warming milk. Whisk continuously until mixed
• " with vegan chocolate of butterscotch chips. Where do you purchase them? Here and here. If you're one of those lucky ducks on the east coast, Price Chopper Brand butterscotch chips are vegan-(or so I've been told.)

Flavor variations to add to your cocoa:

Using chocolate:

• peppermint
• spearmint
• cinnamon & cayenne
• cardamon & ginger
• pumpkin
• orange
• vanilla

Using butterscotch:
vanilla

• cinnamon
• cardamon
• ginger
• maple
• molasses
• nutmeg

Using white chocolate:

• cranberry
• persimmons
• kiwi
• lemons
• limes
• raspberry
• blueberry

To make flavored syrups, you can buy the commercial syrups-(I can't guarantee veganness), or you can be all punk rock like me and wear a lab coat over your pajamas while mashing the fruit or fruit juice and mixing it with agave nectar or some sugar and water to make a simple syrup.


Mix your chocolate/butterscotch/white chocolate, milk, and syrup or sugar-( I usually throw 3T per every 8 oz.) over med heat until everything is nice and mixed. Don't set the heat on high or you'll burn your milk. Do you hear me? Trust me on that one.


What are you waiting for? Get moving. There's a 10 oz. mug of maple pecan butterscotch lurking in your pantry or grocery aisle.

Some just don't make the cut

Here's a sammie that didn't make it into Celine and Tami's book. Eliminating recipes when your cook book is too full must be hard. I was bummed about this one getting the boot.

This is a barbecued eggplant over chard open faced dealy. Eggplant is such an egg-celent vegetable to bbq because the flesh lends itself to really absorb whatever you cook it in and it has a meaty texture. When this sweet n' spicy nightshade is paired with the creamy mayo flavor of a swiss chard slaw, well don't say I didn't warn you. If you're using GF bread, then this is an easy gluten free sandwich to throw together. This is also a signature sandwich for a summer bbq, or when you want to pretend you're having a summer bbq in the middle of a snowstorm.

Have you ever tested a recipe that didn't make the cut? You don't have to tell me what it was. Did it bum you out?

Third time is a charm for brioche

One of the biggest fears I have is that I'll test for someone and have an enormous fail. I realize this is a horrible expectation because the title of Recipe Tester implies there will be some minor catastrophes. For Celine and Tami's sandwich cookbook, I wrestled with the brioche recipe quite a bit before I got it right.
For you folk scratchin' yer heads wondering what the hell brioche is-(don't worry, I did too!), lemme tell you about it: it's like challah had a wild n' crazy mating session with a croissant and had a loaf baby. Rich, slightly crisp on the outside and melt in your mouth buttery and spongy moist on the inside. My first attempt was a no, the second attempt was a slightly worse fail, and the third time was PERFECT. Thank the bread gods and goddesses.

This is the tofu n' greens briochewich from the upcoming cook book. Now, that tofu ain't your standard scrambly thing. There's some stuff in it that'll blow your mind. You'll buy the book, look at the recipe, and go "No way. There's no way those ingredients will work!" But you trudge the happy road of destiny and surprise your mouth. It's a deal maker.


HEY BETH! Don't forget to give me your information so I can mail you your copy of Papa Tofu Loves Ethiopian! I'm giving you until the 15th to respond, or I'll move down the list and give the zine to someone else. Send your information to noexcusesprivatechef@gmail.com

PPS- If you're a hardcore PITA Vegan fan, check out my interview on All Things Vegan Radio in Bend, OR! The fine ladies from the show had an interview with me at Vida Vegan Con.

When faced with non-vegan breakfast...

I no longer pine for what the omnis are eating or get jealous over their food. Nope. My many suggestions to Sweetwater's Donuts-(yep, that's how they spell it) to carry a vegan line have fallen on deaf ears, and whenever my buddies from MI come to visit us, they bring a box of joy with them. I'm tellin' you, SW doughnuts are awesome.

You know what would be REALLY RAD? If my gaggle of vegan foodies and omni reading fans went to the website and suggested en masse that the Stadium Drive location start carrying a vegan line. Emphasize that veg heads from a tri state area would likely stampede for one. If they need an example you can always tell them about Voodoo Doughnuts being profitable for offering the vegan option. So click on the link in the first paragraph, and contact them with the suggestion. DO IT! Do you hear me, Mindy?

The sandwich shown above is my response to that box of doughnuts whispering, It's okay Jen. The vegan police don't have to know. Eat one.

The problem is I KNOW. What is it I'm craving? Crunchy? Buttery? Sweet? Chocolatey? Well, If I grill me a sammich with chocolate chips, peanut butter, and a few banana slices I have better than a doughnut. I have a Knownut.

Clinging to gardening season

The tomatoes have been put to rest, the land has been mulched, the garlic has been planted for a spring harvest, stuff has been washed, chopped, and stored in the freezer. The greens are still standing--this makes me feel alive. I'm happy when I can garden for as long as possible.

But soon this will end. What will I do? I have a small light system and I plan on keeping a tomato plant alive during the winter as well as growing some greens. I hope this works. I absolutely refuse to buy robo tomatoes.

Pictured above is the Talbot in a Jar from True Grub. I put it on some toasted farm bread and served it with a salad of greens from my very own condo garden. I am in LOVE with arugula. How could I have ignored this green for so long? I put it in just about everything, and I mean everything. Mr. J. got really mad the other night when he saw me snuggling with a bunch of it in bed. Tee hee.


PS- side note: people have asked me where I acquired my plate set. Get ready for this! K-Mart. That's right, K-Mart. Jaqueline Smith Collection.

Ode to "Meatballs": I give you The Tripper

When I made this concoction, I just didn't care. Really. I was ravenously hungry, the kids were whining about something, and I just wanted everyone to shut up and eat. I wasn't thinking about the classic 1979 wonder known as"Meatballs" with Bill Murray. No way. If you don't know about this epic summer camp comedy classic, shame on you.

As I ate this, I kept hearing the words from his motivational speech to Camp North Star run laps in my brain, and I thought--he's right. It just doesn't matter.

I guess my point is, one doesn't have to have mad fancypants culinary skills at every single meal. You can be a perfectly happy vegan throwing a bunch of shit together and slapping it on some bread. Omni's do it all the time. It is how magical sammies are made, really.

I'm calling this one "The Tripper" after Bill Murray's character in the movie. You take some wheatballs from RR's Vegan On The Cheap, brown them in a skillet with a little brags n' vegan worc. sauce and set aside. Toast a cibatta roll or slices of cibatta bread and slather it with a sauce made of 1/3 vegan parm, 2/3 vegan mayo, black pepper, two cloves of garlic, and some Ms. Dash. I'm pretty sure I used chard on this one, but spinach, arugula, or any kind of leaf lettuce will make this work because it just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't...

I'm souper, thanks for asking.

I can't sit around and eat sandwiches all day, can I? Well, of course I can. I just need to leave some room for soup. One of the directors at work brought in a soup cookbook that had several vegan soup recipes. I really wish I had remembered the name of the book. Soup is in the title. Good luck finding it.

Anyway, this recipe tugged at my inner curious George because it had an odd combination of flavors: potatoes, arugula, apples, and it was all topped with some toasted walnuts. I've never had cooked arugula before, it always looks kind of gross.

This was a nice change of pace from the traditional Fall staple of squash soup or chili. Very comforting, the potatoes dance with the apples and they invite the arugula for a little swingin' if you know what I mean. Cooked arugula isn't as strong, and you've probably guessed it is one of my new favorite greens. I have a nice sized patch in my front yard and I've been harvesting from it for a month, with no signs of slowing down.

Does anyone have a good recipe for falafel that uses garbanzo flour instead of whole cooked beans?

Now back to sammiches...

It always happens--I need a 48 hour blogging detox after MOFO. I've tried to avoid it, I just can't. Thanks for your patience.

Hey y'all, with all that MOFO-ing going on, have you missed hearing me plug Celine and Tami's sandwich cookbook? Good. Here's one that is perfect for breakfast or snacking. Hell, I eat at any time of the day. These are the tempeh bacon and apple turnovers with pomegranate dipping sauce. Say that three times really fast. You can't? Oh yeah--drool tends to block one from a good tongue twister.
Savory smoky tempeh bacon, apples, and pomegranate will make your mouth extremely happy.

So good, you'll defy gravity! See how that works? I never thought commercial puff pastry would be vegan, but there you go! When you're all done eating your dinner, don't forget to make a little something from Isa and Terry's new pie cookbook!