shut yer piehole

along with bunghole and poppycock, piehole is one of my favorite words that sounds dirty but has a legitimate non-dirty meaning. most of y'all know it means "shut up" in slang. some suspect it comes from an urban legend of someone winning a pie eating contest. i suspect it has something to do with the hole in the center of a pie that allows the steam to vent.
regardless of this colloquialisms origin, you should open your piehole and try this pie. this is a tester post for bianca's root veggie seitan pot pie-(whew!) saying it alone is a mouthful. of course, i'm sworn to secrecy and cannot divulge the recipe, but i guess one can surmise by the name of the dish that it is a gorgeous flaky pot pie filled with seitan and root veggies that have been bathing in a tasty gravy of sorts. just look at that cross section! aren't you salivating? you should be.

this kicks all other pot pies asses. seriously, one bite and you'll never open your pie hole again. wait--of course you will. you'll open it again and again until it's gone.

her southern vegan cookbook is in the works and the release date is TBA. you can find out more about bianca by visiting her awesome blog, or meeting her at the vida vegan con in august 2011.

rAwR! i'm a dinosaur.

late post, but better late than...wait, did you hear that? what's that sound?
rAwR! it's a dinosaur! i'm so scared. quick tip for the in-a-hurry vegan: most commercial cake mixes can be veganized. just sub that egg for with one of the following- 1/4 c. blended silken tofu, 1T ground flax seeds+3T warm water, 1 super ripe banana, or 1/2 c. applesauce. i am NOT a fan of using applesauce. makes the cake too damned dry. i like silken tofu better. you can always use the tired old NRG egg replacer, but that stuff is just potato starch and tapioca flour. for mixes that call for milk, use your favorite non-dairy version. bOoM! you have a fun vegan cake that you can mangle and try to make look like a ferocious T-rex. this was for my son's birthday party. the animal crackers were vegan too.

cake decorating ain't my strong suit. that's why i make so many cookies.

spillin' the beans

spill the beans. beans, beans the magical fruit. hill o' beans. she doesn't know beans about babies. the list goes on and on--i am unapologetic about my love for beans-(wouldn't it be sad if a vegan didn't love them?) and would happily marry them if i could. it would be kinda weird eating my spouse, though. for more about my love affair with beans, PLEASE click here to listen to one of my favorite songs about this power food!
after having my second child, my friend alicia brought me some BBQ black beans. they were so good, i licked the plate clean-no joke. this recipe is fast, simple, perfect anytime of the year, and will make your mouth (and butt) sing a happy tune:

southbound suarez magical black BBQ black beans-( i made that up myself)

* NOTE- alicia says this dish is served with chorizo, but i'm sure you can buy sorizo and it would taste great. i personally like it as is. let the beans shine through.

3c black beans
1c chopped onion
4 garlic cloves, via garlic press
1/2 c. ketchup
1/2 c. molasses
1/4 c. mustard
2T brown sugar-( i actually omitted this because i thought there was enough sugar in the molasses and ketchup)
1/2 t. ginger
2T Worcestershire sauce (kroger brand is vegan)
1T Frank's red hot
2 jalapenos (i used the pickled kind, chopped) fresh would probably be better.

saute garlic, onion, jalapeno in some oil until onions sweat. add beans and everything else. simmer for about 15 minutes. serve over rice. pairs well with greens. sliced avocado would make this baby really sing.

Oktoberfest

when i hear the word "oktoberfest" i usually visualize polka dancin' dudes in lederhosen eating sausages and drinking large amounts of beer. not anymore. this year i participated in the post punk kitchen october care package swap. my swap partner was brittany from VA and she really sent me a sweet basket! I received TJ maple leaf cookies, organic brown rice crispy treats, dark chocolate covered pretzels, two kinds of primal strips-(thai peanut and hickory), justin's hazlenut butter, dandies vanilla vegan marshmallows, lara bar jocolat, white chocolate chips from pangea, tj cranberry butter, chocolate covered espresso beans, and blood orange bat dots!
the hazlenut butter puts nutella to shame. plus i chuckled a little because it was called "justin's nut butter." i have such a dirty mind.
the cookies were great! i have evil s'mores plans for those dandies.
i used some of these the other day to make really great cookies that i will talk about next month for my SPECIAL THEME during VEGAN MOFO. what's the theme? c'mon--i'm all about suspense. let's just say it'll be cool, way cool. if i told you now, i might just have to kill you. and that wouldn't be vegan.
i'm not a huge candy fan--just a chocolate purist. i found these to be really great! plus they make great accents for cupcakes or dressing up fun shaped cookies.
the cranberry apple butter really jazzes up the ol' tired pb&j. i am also going to play around with it and make some bbq sauce with it.

i would never buy myself this stuff. sad, but true. i'd probably buy it piece meal, but i really don't get specialty stuff too often. largely because i'm broke, don't live super close to a TJ, and i know (this is silly because i know i'm worth it)--i'm just busy most of the time taking care of everyone else first, then i eventually get to "me". this bundle of vegan goodies really made my day. this was a ton of fun and i'll more than likely do this again.

thanks, brittany! i hope you are enjoying yours.

there's more to pumpkin than pumpkin pie

there's pumpkin saag! i'm always amazed at the little gems i find in veganomicon. this is one of those recipes you don't really hear about but should! here's how my menu planning goes: i take what i get at the food bank, add the little extras we can afford to round out our groceries for the week, and then use cook books to come up with things to do with the food. this pumpkin is from my compost pile--it was one of those happy accidents that just grew from the pile and gave us one gigantoid pumpkin. i'm surprised it wasn't accompanied by a coach and some mice. after it was cleaned, peeled, and chopped i had several pounds of awesome roasted pumpkin to use for a few recipes.

this dish is the perfect mixture of sweet and savory. tip: roast the pumpkin a night ahead, and you'll have this dish done in no time the next day. i paired it with some flat bread and curried potatoes/carrots. the only thing that could have made this more awesome would have been a nice dal.

plum it!

When the plums take affect
Yes, the plums suddenly juice her mind (mind)
She is no longer a nervous wreck
Now her nerves are blind; she feels fine (fine)- "Plum Dumb"
The Dead Milkmen, Big Lizard in My Back Yard

i've never been a huge fan of plums, except for the occasional jar of baby food. i know, i'm a freak. i found this recipe in Lickin' the Beaters: Low Fat Vegan Desserts. i acquired some plums from the food bank and wanted to put them to good use. score!

here's a money shot of the cake. i was apprehensive about making it at first because it calls for zero leavening and weighed about 20lbs when i took it out of the oven. it is a VERY dense cake, and a little goes a long way. this is true hippie food--a sweet that you can actually feel good about eating because it doesn't contain much sugar and only a scant T of oil. note to vegans who want to make something for your co-workers: don't make it for the omni set. it's not that it's bad-(because it isn't), it just won't win them over--and i'm afraid that's just the reality we live in today. i did have my co-workers try a little and they described it as "good but different". and while i'm not the kind of vegan who's out to convert others, i am the kind of vegan that is about dispelling myths about vegan cuisine tasting like dirt.

remember, MOFO is NOT this month. it's next month. i have a super secret surprise up my sleeve with a fun theme, so i want you to recruit as many readers as you can. what's the big deal? well, i'm donating 1/2 of my blogging check to mother hubbard's cupboard if i rake in over $30--this requires about 10,000 a month. i know this is high traffic, but this is doable. in november i have this crazy goal of ONE MILLION HITS so i can give this local food bank an amazing donation. won't you help me? i can't achieve this goal without you, so please get the word out.