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Saturday, October 6, 2012

Vegan MOFO Day #6: Lori's Big Mess







 "I'm so sorry I took what was left of our rations and made some bunk-assed cereal bars. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. I guess I was just too busy deciding who I love more."

Lori can't cook to save her life. Are you honestly surprised?  Look at her trying to talk her way out of this one. I'm amazed she's not a member of the zombie crew by now. We kind of all wish she was, then we'd know exactly what to do with her. She never knows where Carl is, She's knocked up with Shane's baby, and she managed to get into a car wreck when she's the only one on the road.What a nincompoop.

While these granola bars look good, they taste terrible. I was going to make pancakes, but noooooo--Lori just had to screw it all up for everyone. Why bother giving you the recipe only to be as disappointed as everyone else at camp 'Pocky? They're chock full of nutritious stuff: peaches, flax seeds, oats, pumpkin seeds, cinnamon, oil, and some brown rice syrup, but they turned out to be soft blocks of mush. I consoled myself by covering mine in peanut butter and eating it because no one can afford to waste food in the wake of countless lemures.





4 comments:

  1. You could maybe put a bar in a bowl and cover it with almond (or whatever) milk and make overnight oats out of those? That's what I do when faced with not-so-satisfying granola bars.

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  2. From now on, I'm going to blame Lori whenever anything goes wrong. The satisfaction of doing so will be my silver lining.

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  3. How did I miss your gorgeous theme by now!?!

    What an epic idea, cannot wait to see what you come up with next.

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  4. Lori is seriously the worst, so it is only fitting that the cereal bars didn't turn out.

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