Star of Gravyd

So what's a Jewish Vegan Gal supposed to do during Passover? For me, not anything incredibly different. Last year I had a "Tater Seder" which is a really cheap way to host a seder and keep everything K for P.

Since I quit going to temple and am now partying with the UU posse, I've reexamined my attitude towards the holiday. I won't get into those details because this is a food blog and I don't really want to digress from the primary purpose of eating well and havin' fun.

For those of you who are Pesach clueless, here's the story in a nutshell: Jews left Egypt to escape slavery and didn't have enough time to let their bread rise, so it apparently looked like a giant saltine cracker, only less tasty. Matzah meal was also fed to the Israelites because it was filling and cheap gruel to give to the slaves. So the eating of matzah has a couple of different meanings: urgency to escape oppression and what it means to be fed something sub standard.

I took this year's matzah and gave it a makeover. Readers, I give you...
The Star of Gravyd!

Jewish cooking isn't horribly complicated. Most of the time if you throw something on top of matzah or a bagel, that's good enough. Take two matzohs and overlap them into a Magen David shape. Got it? Good.
Top with steamed kale, vegan sausage gravy, home fries, and a little hot sauce. This is Hoosier fare meets Matzoh. Is it good? Well if you put enough stuff on matzah, sure. Gravy makes everything better, duh.

I'm not gonna tell you how to make gravy, because how you make yours is probably better than mine. All gravy is composed of some sort of liquid fat, protein source, salt, pepper, a little stock, and a few tablespoons of flour. Am I right or what?

Kale is different. You can steam it or cook the crap out of it, but it's much better if you do this with it:

Baconless Kale

1 bunch of kale, washed and cut into small pieces
1/4 c. fakin' bacon bitz, set aside
1/4 c. canola oil, set aside
a little Bragg's Liquid Aminos

Steam that kale, but don't let it get mushy. Drain and set aside in a larger pan. In the mean time, heat the oil in a small pan and add the bacon bitz, stirring until fragrant. You really want that oil to absorb the smoky imitation bacon flavor. Strain and add this grease to your kale. Use a few squirts of Bragg's and add a little hot sauce. Stir in the pot for just a few minutes. Viola.