MOFO Day #11 True Grub: Grampy's Goat Tongue

Some people have all the luck. Some people have grandpas that make them goat's tongue for dinner followed by some lessons in black magic. All my grandpa ever did was take me to Big Bear to watch fireworks and sing songs about Kool-Aid. Why didn't I get a goat's tongue? I guess I'll have to make one myself. That's the great thing about being a vegan. I don't have to kill anything but some VWG and a can of beans to make great meat.


Once you make your wheat/bean meat dough shape it into a tongue. You remember anatomy class, right?
If you're not so hot with biology, just give it your best shot.
Wrap your tongue in foil and exaggerate the tongue shape, because it will swell when steaming.


Jesus's abuelo likes to serve his plain, which can be kind of boring. A flower and some chilies make the presentation slightly more attractive. Or you can grind your goat tongue up and mix it with some BBQ sauce, taco seasonings, or whatever.

Grampy's Goat Tongue

Dry Ingredients:

• 1 1/4 c vital wheat gluten
• 1/4 c soy flour
• 2T instant tapioca
• 1/2 t salt
• 1/2 t pepper
• 1/4 t cafe bustello
• 3/4 t oregano
• 2 t cumin
• 1 t chili powder
• 1/4 t cayenne-(optional for heat)
• 1 t garlic powder
• 2 t onion powder

Wet Ingredients

• 1/2 c mashed pinto beans or canned re fried beans
• 1/4 c red wine vinegar
• 1/4 c water
• 1/2 c pureed salsa (your favorite brand, I used my own)
• 2 T canola oil
• 2 T finely chopped pickled jalapenos (optional--this is for heat)
• 1 T hot sauce (optional if you like heat)
• 1 T of adobo sauce from a can of chipotles (optional if you like heat)
  
• 1 T worc. sauce (Kroger brand is vegan)

Mix wet and dry together to make your dough. Shape into tongues and wrap individually in foil, exaggerating the tongue shape. Steam for about 45-60 minutes, checking on them after 45. They should be firm. Cool completely, unwrap, and store in a tupperware container in the fridge. Plop your tongues in some tomato soup with salsa and surprise your friends.