beancon!

alas, the post you've been waiting for... a lump of brown dough! who am i kidding? it's saturday and you're probably sleeping in, or just getting up by now. what's this? it's--BEANCON! that's right, bean bacon. sounds wonky, sure but trust me this is good stuff. i'll admit i was something of a bacon freak when i was little and occasionally i still miss it. now that i know what real bacon is made of, i find alternatives when i want a chewy, crunchy, salty, and smoky sumptin'-sumptin'. vegans are lucky like that: we can make bacon out of anything. i'll post the recipe at the end of this post. the picture shown above is after the dough has been made and chilled overnight. you don't have to chill it, but if you don't use the whole recipe you can rest easy because it is perfectly safe to store in the fridge.
roll the dough out flat with a lightly floured rolling pin and cut strips with a pizza cutter.
finished product laying next to terry hope romero's mojo seitan from viva vegan. i used both to make the cuban sandwich recipe from the same book.
another beancon shot!
mah punk rock panini press: a griddle for cookin' and plates/aerobic weights for squishin'.
finished sandwich served with red pepper strips and the aji sauce from viva vegan. note: that sauce is so tantalizing, my taste buds freaked out, died, and became zombies who's hunger could only be satiated by the sauce. seriously, this peruvian condiment should be illegal--it's that good.
another money shot of finished cuban sammie, despues a gigantico bite-o.

and now for the recipe:

BEANCON! (you have to use an exclamation mark)
this amazing all purpose treat is so rad that kevin bacon decided to change his last name to beancon and made kyra sedgwick change her last name too or he'd file for divorce. pigs everywhere were saved from slaughterhouses, and babe personally wrote me to tell me he nominated me for a nobel peace prize. beggin' strips, henceforth became "beancon" strips.

of course this didn't really happen, but it makes for a great story, wouldn't you agree? NOTE: this isn't going to mimic bacon. this is an approximation. not bacon, not ham, and not beans--it's beancon.

you'll need:

• 1 can vegan refried beans (check for lard!)
• 2 T ketchup
• 1 t garlic powder
• 1 t sage
• 1/2 T liquid smoke
• 2 T sesame oil
• 1/2 c. jen's bread crumb mix* (any will really do, but i use a blend of vegan triscuits, ww bread crumbs, a pinch of salt, and rice crispies ground to dust)
• 1/2 c. vital wheat gluten

preheat the oven to three fiddy. get your dry ingredients together: that's everything EXCEPT your beans, ketchup, oil, and liquid smoke. now mix wet and dry into a nice dough. if it's too dry, throw an extra T of ketchup or really cold water. spray a cookie sheet with canola oil spray or grease with your favorite NH shortening or oil. take the flattened strips from above and arrange on cookie sheet. bake for 15 minutes, then flip and bake for another 7-10. this will be crispy, but a little chewy in the middle. dough refrigerates just fine. you could probably pan fry this, but i haven't tried to do so. goes well with pancakes and syrup, and makes gnarly sammiches.