meow!

how do i get my kid to eat his fruit and veggies? not easy. i resort to disguising food. here we have a kitteh made of kangaroo flat bread cut into shapes. i decorated the cat with mashed bananas and peanut butter. the stripes are baby food carrots, the eyes are dollops of vegan yogurt and the eyes are raisins.

you'd think he'd have licked the plate clean, right? wrong. he tore it apart and told me he wanted a cereal bar.

(((((sigh)))))

what goes with chocolate?

would you just look at that? two flavors that seem odd to put together--pumpkin and chocolate. sounds a little weird, but please believe me when i say this works **magic**. put down the peanut butter, put down the banana, and give this combo a try. pumpkin is a superfood! these are the pumpkin pie brownies from vegan cookies invade your cookie jar. don't ask me why isa put brownie recipes in a cookie cookbook, but it works. besides she's isa and can do whatever she wants.
because i have the tendency to eat a whole pan of brownies at a time, i put the mixture in muffin tins and mini muffin tins. some of them weren't really that attractive, but they were still quite tasty. making the minis allows me to have a one bite brownie instead of eating one obnoxiously large serving.

not like there's anything wrong with that, i just dabble in moderation every now and then.

no access to the kitchen, so now what do i do?

my kitchen is teeming with the smells of paint and spackle as skilled professionals get things done for us so we can sell our teeny tiny house. so me? no kitchen. ((((whistling a dramatic tune))))

PRODUCT REVIEWS!

it's been a while since i've done this. fortunately, i have these two gems in my pocket. the first: anyone who's anyone knows amy's kitchen came out with a vegan mac n' cheez--gluten free to boot! can i get a whoop-whoop? hell yeah. this stuff rocks. THIS is the mac n' cheez you eat when you are having one of those whiny meltdowns that makes you question your veganism. one bite, and you'll be saved from ingesting the what-have-you byproducts from our cow friends. this dish takes me back to the sharp, twisted-gooey-cheddary-homemade glop that the lunch ladies used to make in elementary school. looking on the back at the nutrition info, it has just as many calories too, if counting those happens to be your thang. it ain't mine, but i did find it interesting that one serving has 39% of your daily fat intake. so what. it's effin' mac n' cheez. last time i checked it wasn't classified as health food. these are expensive, so wait until they go on sale. the big secret ingredient is daiya cheese, so if you want to really do it right, i suppose you could just make a homemade dish of it yourself. i think i'll have to look into that. something with breadcrumbs on top...


rating: two turntables and a microphone PLUS beck. it's that good.
this little gem has been the mainstay of my on-the-go mommyhood breakfast. mr. j. found these on amazon and we save when buying in bulk. don't let the label fool you, this is no cookie. it's more like a cookie shaped cliff bar, only better. you can even pop these in the toaster and they have that fresh outta the oven feel. i like the pb and chocolate chunk the best. another great thing? fiber.

rating: a turntable, just a turntable. let's face it--you're better off making your own cookies, BUT for the vegan on-the-go this is nice to have. if you have a vegan at college who needs some goodies, this would fill out a nice care package.

leftover day!

i love leftover day, it's like having a potluck for whoever is in the house. this photo was taken a month or so ago and features an amazing bulghur & chickpea salad with roasted red and yellow peppers. i paired it with the spicy peanut eggplant soup from veganomicon. the salad was inspired by something i saw on martha stewart-(i know, you can laugh at me if you want). when i saw it being made i noticed all the ingredients were vegan so i made it myself and improvised a little. peeking at the lower left corner is some tzimmes and kale. i don't have an actual recipe for it, i just throw stuff together and it works out every time. my go to is usually a combo of carrots, sweet potatoes, mandarin oranges and a handful of prunes. i spritz it with a little olive oil, salt, and pour some apple juice on it. cover the casserole with foil and bake it for about 45 mins. at 350. sometimes i have to bake it longer depending how thick i cut the carrots and potatoes, but usually 45-50 minutes does it every time.

thanks to everyone who has been stopping by--i really appreciate it! please spread the word and encourage others to take a peek at the plate of this pain in the ass vegan.

hot chocolate in cookie form!

yeah, i know it ain't hot chocolate weather yet. keep yer pants on. no, keep them off. wait, what kind of blog is this? a crazy one. i suppose you should put those pants back on and get a glass of your favorite non-dairy beverage and a small plate for cookie time! these are the mexican hot chocolate snicker doodles from vegan cookies invade your cookie jar. a cookie with cayenne pepper in the dough? it's so insignificant you wouldn't have even known it was in there had i not opened my enormous pie hole. don't worry, it gives the cookie a nice bite without biting you.

and just when you thought life couldn't get any more awesome, there's another rad vegan cookie cook book coming out: the vegan cookie connoisseur. just in time for vegan MOFO! perhaps i'll have an idea or two for my special MOFO theme in november.

thanks for stopping by! make sure to tell your friends to visit as well.

wOOt, i'm excited!

i'm excited about a few things. the first one is pantry purge meals. cleaning those cupboards makes space for more awesome food. featured above is my ever changing but always yummy burrito pie! the recipe is at the end of this post so PLEASE KEEP READIN'.
here's a money shot of said pie with some fresh salsa, avocado wedges, and what was left of a bag of tortilla chips. nice dinner, cleaned the cupboards, and it was a cinch to make.

second thing i'm stoked about--vegan mofo-(that's the vegan MOnth of FOod for those who aren't familiar with this event). this year it will be in november. i thought it would be october, i worked out a theme and everything, but since it has changed, i'm second guessing my approach. we'll see-((((tenting fingers))))) we'll see. i do have an idea to increase That Pain in the Ass Vegan reader volume and do some good service so PLEASE PAY ATTENTION!

((((insert southern baptist organ music here))))) I WILL DONATE ***HALF*** OF MY FOODBUZZ EARNINGS TO MOTHER HUBBARD'S CUPBOARD FROM HERE ON OUT IF I CAN MAKE MORE THAN***$30*** A MONTH FROM BLOGGING. that's right, readers. to do this, i need 10,000 hits a month. this would be so easy to do--so please spread the word. i promise i'll blog more. my crazy pain in the ass goal? one million hits during the month of november. yep--i want a million. it'll be a challenge--but if you spread the word of how awesome you think i am-(even if you don't really mean it) you will be helping a south central indiana food bank that provides wholesome, nourishing foods to several counties surrounding bloomington. help me help them, please.

and the third thing i'm stoked about is vida vegan con 2011. i am going to work really hard to get the wheels in motion to go to this fab event.

and now for the recipe:

jewbacca's pantry purge burrito pie

you'll need

• package tortilla shells-(i had whole wheat ones) NOTE: hey fellow vegan jews, you don't know what to do with that box of matzah? you can use matzahs in a square or rectangular casserole dish too!
  
• can of vegetables of your choice (or frozen, this is a pantry purge after all)
• can of refried beans-(or you can smoosh a can of beans you happen to have on hand)
• can of tomato sauce-(tomato soup might work in a pinch)
• some sort of hot pepper-( i had anaheims from the garden)
• ms. dash chipotle-(or other non salt seasoning blend)
• something fun to garnish the top
• cumin
• chopped onion
• 1 or 2 cloves of garlic

preheat the oven to three fiddy. take a round casserole dish and lightly coat with canola oil. put a splash of tomato sauce on the bottom, spread it around, then put a tortilla down. take your can of veggies-(mixed with the seasonings), mix with peppers and onions and put that on top. top with some tomato sauce, then another tortilla, spread some of the refried beans, then top with another tortilla, repeat the process as you wish until you've filled your casserole dish. any remaining ingredients and make it pretty. bake for 35 minutes. serve with salsa and avocado wedges if you have them. this makes a great fall potluck dish.

1, 2, 3, 4...i declare a coffee cake war!

this is a tale of two coffee cakes. what's not to like about cake that goes with coffee? the first photo is of the east coast coffee cake from vegan brunch. if linda richman were to have a piece, she'd say it's "like buttah." pluses: many variations-(berries are best), super crumbly, and impresses the omnivore crowd. when i made this cake, i thought i had made the end-all be all of coffee cakes. then i tried the one featured below:
this is the round the clock coffee cake from american vegan kitchen. this is a whole 'nuther beast, people. very moist, extraordinarily rich, and the fun topping is also inside the cake. sure, there aren't any variations of this cake--just your standard coffee cake; however, this baby is so dense and decadent i feel like i've been transported to a diner in the south circa 1950 just smelling it. i posted a thread on the post punk kitchen about this cake being better than isa's and hopefully no one hates me for it--although someone jokingly informed me i was banned. isa is a solid brick house of a vegan chef, you can't not recognize she's a genius, but sometimes there's another winner of a recipe. and ms. tami's got the blue ribbon on this one my foodie friends.

so, about the sweet new year: jews around the world celebrate the new year by eating an incredible amount of sweets. rosh hashana is hands down my favorite holiday next to halloween. imagine a big buffet table loaded with every tooth rotting delight for you to nosh on, and that's an oneg after rosh services. for the next few posts, i'll be keeping it strictly sweet-(as if this somehow deviates from the norm!).

i picked up a copy of lickin' the beaters: low fat vegan desserts with my boxcar books gift certificate from last channukah-(yeah, i know i'm slow!) i look forward to showcasing some of those recipes too.

a whale of a cracker and versatile blogging

hey everyone! store bought graham crackers are awesome if you're a vegetarian or omnivore. if you're vegan, you get to refinance your home to buy a box of mediocre graham crackers. it's enough to drive anyone crazy. the solution? the vegan graham cracker recipe from vegan cookies invade your cookie jar . the other fun part is that you can use cookie cutters to come up with your own fun shapes. my son loved these. this recipe was ridiculously simple--the most kitchenly challenged folk could crank these babies out in a jiffy. pictured above are graham whales, hearts, and stars of david. if you're feeling particularly fancy, you can dip them in melted chocolate. if you bake them for a few minutes short of the suggested time, this recipe makes AWESOME ice cream sammies. you'll never want store bought again.

HYGE veganos apologies to woz for my tardiness in answering her call to the honor of versatile blogger. thanks, woz! here's the scoop:

Ms. Woz, gave me the honor of The Versatile Blogger Award. I was flattered because there are so many other vegan blogs out there that are way cooler than mine that get much more traffic. But there's my dirty secret folks: I associate success with the number of people who like and visit. Very lame. I should just focus on what makes me happy.

• Thank the person who gave you the award.
• Share seven things about yourself.
• Give this award out to 15 other bloggers that you think are fabulous, interesting and deserving. NOTE: I don't have much time, so I only picked five people.
  
• Contact each of the bloggers you chose.

Seven things about me:

1) I will not lie. I love TV. TV told me so. I understand why one would cut themselves off from the boob tube, but I always laugh inside when someone gets all high n' mighty about how everyone should "kill their television." Have they not seen the wonders of America's Funniest Home Videos, True Blood, Breaking Bad, The Simpsons, and Web Soup?

2) I don't think fat jokes are funny. Ever.

3) People who are super militant about anything--good or bad do very little to help their cause. I understand one's drive and passion, but if you're just acting like the po-po about your activism, people will just make fun of you.

4) I was married in a Simpson's themed wedding in May of 2003. I dressed as Marge, and Mr. J dressed as Homer. When we weren't contacted about the Simpson's documentary hosted by Morgan Spurlock, I sat shiva. We were ROBBED!

5) My kids are cute. I'm not just saying that because I'm their mother. My spouse and I are amazed we won the genetic crap shoot twice.

6) My dream job is to own my own vegan b&b and catering service.

7) I have no interest in creating my own vegan cook book. There are just too many out there! I do have an idea for a good vegan book-(tenting fingers). I'd share it with you, but I'd have to kill you.

Now for the blogger love! I present the following amazing blogs with The Versatile Blogger award:

vegan appetite-tami is one of the vegan cooking community's best kept secrets. she really deserves more publicity.
vegan crunk-bianca is an amazing chef and food blogger.
dallas vegan- i really enjoy the reviews and people profiles! i feel very well equipped if i ever travel to tey-has.
pixiepine blog- i really like all of the household and craft tips!
tofu n' sprouts- i wish i had a mother like her growing up. this woman really knows her stuff and has some super awesome suggestions on how to go vegan on a budget.

coming up: a sweet new year--shana tova!

they're magical because...

...when you make them they **POOF!** disappear. this is a money shot of the coconut magical cookie bars from vegan cookies invade your cookie jar. they were awesome--yet another fancy cookie that you can feed your omni friends to show them that vegan cookies are just as every bit as good -(if not better) than their regular ol' cookies. i assumed the condensed milk base would just be soy creamer, but was pleased to find out that it actually is from coconut milk, so these bars are super coconutty and yummy.

BTW--i want to apologize for the non-vegan ads on my blog. i'm in negotiations with foodbuzz to find out if there's anything i can do to keep non-vegan products popping up on my site. chicken? eeew.